The Cellar Door
by Ealasaid77
Summary: Edward is done with his boyfriend James. Jasper is done with his as well, he just doesn't know it yet. How can these two boys turn their heartache into something good? This is a very belated birthday present for OCDJen. This is not a one shot.
1. Chapter 1

**The Cellar Door: Chapter One**

**AN:** _This is one long ass birthday fic to my favorite girl, OCDJen. It's late in coming, but once you see the length of it you'll know why. I had to break it up just to get it halfway readable. It's about eleven chapters with an epilogue, all of it already written.  
_

_Thank you to Dilmn8 for pre-reading this fic for me. You are awesome and full of great suggestions. This wouldn't be as good without your help. Also, thanks for help with the summary too._

_Characters belong to SM_

**EPOV**

Annoyed with her I ground out, "Why do you hate him so much?" I was so fucking tired of hearing this. Internally I thought if everyone, meaning my family and friends, would leave me the fuck alone I'd probably have dropped his ass by now. Staying with him out of spite, that's what I was doing. It certainly wasn't love, or even affection. I couldn't even say I trusted or respected him. So why was I still with the guy? Oh, that's right, I was a sucker for blond hair, blue eyes; always had been, always will be. Shoot me now.

Alice looked like she was choosing her words carefully before she spoke, "I don't hate James, Edward. He's just not the best for you."

Rolling my eyes at her I said, "Right..." She hated his guts deep down I knew.

"Look, I don't hate him, but he just isn't right for you. He's using you," Alice's voice came out sure and strong as if she knew that for a fact. Wasn't I doing the same thing?

Snorting at her I shot back, "I'm using him too. Haven't you figured that out by now?"

"Yes," she answered barely above a whisper, looking away from me. Turning back she stared me down, pinning me where I stood and said, "You aren't that person, Edward. You never were before him, so no, I don't like him. He's almost made you someone you aren't."

Sighing at her, I didn't want to continue this argument, it happened far too often to count. "Alice, I know it's not like we are meant to be or anything, but having someone is better than having no one." The look on her face told me she disagreed.

"Edward, I think if you were single you'd be more likely to look for someone better." When her eyes lit up I knew I was in trouble. "I think I know who'd be perfect for you."

"No," I stated with no room for argument, her face fell.

"Won't you reconsider?" she asked me with a small amount of hope left.

"No. The answer is still no," was my reply. Alice drove me nuts sometimes. She was my sister, but as soon as she found out I was gay she automatically wanted to become my fag hag. Most of the time I just wanted to kill her. Don't get me wrong, I had female friends, that were friends because they just were, not a single one of them would I consider a fag hag. Hell, I never thought I needed one, but Alice insisted. Yes, one day I would mow her down if I could.

"Please?" Okay, now she was starting to whine like the little annoying sister I knew her to be.

Sighing I asked, even though I knew it would be bad for my health, "Why?"

The smile that crept across her lips outshone the Cheshire cat's. Now I was worried. Why did I bother to ask? "I think you'd like him, he's blond, blue eyed, beautiful, just like I know you like. He actually looks a lot like James, but I actually like him." Aha, she finally admitted that she didn't like James. I knew it.

In the back of my mind I wondered if it was James' brother, he had a twin. They weren't identical, I knew, but he said they looked a lot alike. I never knew his name. I'd never met any of James' relatives for that matter. That was one reason I didn't trust him. He just said they weren't on speaking terms anymore, but I knew for a fact that he was living with his brother before James moved in with me. Well no, not moved in, infiltrated. I never asked him to move in, it just gradually happened, until one day he no longer went home. Sometimes I wondered how the hell that happened, how did he end up in my house? There was no excuse for that, I would never have allowed it before. It almost seemed like I just didn't give a shit, maybe I didn't. James was easy, no emotional connection. He was not someone I would have sought out for that fact alone, but my previous serious boyfriend was so emotional that I thought I had whiplash. I couldn't take anymore of that, so I sought out the person furthest removed from it, James. That worked for a while. Now though... the only reason I was still with him was his looks, so sue me. The sex wasn't even good enough for me to stick around, but I did. Or at least the sex wasn't good anymore, either that or I was over any kind of lust I'd ever felt towards him. We hadn't been fucking for a while. It was official, the more I thought about my relationship with James, the more I thought I'd lost my fucking mind.

At some point Alice had begun talking again; not only did I not hear it, I didn't even hear the drone of her voice in the background. When I tuned back in again I heard her say, "... but you probably should know he still has a boyfriend right now that he tells me he's madly in love with." What? Then why was she trying to set me up with this person?

"Alice," I practically growled out her name, "why are you wanting to set me up with someone that is already happily dating?" Crossing my arms I glared at her, daring her to give me a good reason.

"I think if you just met him that you'd hit it off," she defended.

"So Alice, what you are saying is you want me to meet this person and basically both of us to cheat to be together?" Raising my brows in disbelief at her I willed her to deny it.

"No, but I think if you knew there was someone better out there you'd get rid of James. Besides, I just want you to meet him. I don't think he'd be able to date someone else for a while, even if he left that guy. They are pretty serious," she responded. Groaning in irritation, I turned and headed for the door.

"Where the fuck are you going, Edward? I wasn't done talking," Alice demanded.

"Home, where I belong, not the twilight zone," I told her, turning the door handle. Shaking my head at Alice, I mumbled to myself, "I can't believe she is encouraging this."

Finally managing to pull the door open I called out, "Don't talk to me, Alice, until you've come to your senses."

Huffing at me, I distinctly heard a muttered, "You need to come to your senses." I slammed the door behind me.

Fucking Alice, why couldn't she and everyone else leave me the fuck alone? It wasn't like I didn't already know I was screwing up, I did. Pulling the keys out of my pocket I clicked the unlock button, or thought I did. In my frustration, I apparently hit the panic button. Damn it. For some reason I thought kicking the tire would make me feel better; it didn't, of course. The blaring beeps were still going and I was still pissed off. The only thing it did was hurt my toe. Wearing flip flops and kicking things weren't in the best interest of my feet, I thought I broke my big toe. Hopping on one foot and still unable to hit the right button to turn the noise off I was sure people thought I was insane. Well, what the fuck did they know? Everyone had a bad day every now and then, and apparently this was going to be mine.

As the intense pain started to subside I was able to stop hopping and hit the correct button for my car. When I was finally settled into the driver's seat and turned the car on I realized my toe still hurt. Hmmm... here I thought I might just be overreacting. Well, hell, it was my right big toe, that's just great. Pushing down on the pedal with my right foot was painful. Sitting there I debated getting Alice to take me home, but I really didn't want to hear anymore from her. Deciding I'd just wait it out a few more minutes and then just drive carefully home, I leaned my head back on the headrest waiting for the throbbing to lessen.

Putting the key into the ignition I could see Alice peeking through the curtain of her window. From here it looked like she was laughing at me, she probably was. I had to get out of there. Turning the car on I began to pull out, not paying attention and nearly hit someone, shit. _Pull yourself together, man, or get Alice. _Blowing out my breath I tried to pay more attention and drove home. My house, fortunately, wasn't too far from Alice's.

When I pulled into the driveway I opened the garage door. James' car was there too. He shouldn't be home, he told me he wouldn't be anyway. His car didn't look like it had moved all damn day. Whatever, I didn't care, today was already fucked up.

Walking carefully to the door that opened into the kitchen I called out, "James?"

"In here," he replied from the direction of the living room.

Before I had a chance to ask him why he was home, he asked, "Did you have a good time with Alice?"

Rounding the corner, still limping, I bit out, "No."

"Dude, what's wrong with you? Why are you walking like that?" Honestly, I didn't think he cared. This was a diversion tactic, one I'd seen him use before; sound nice and concerned, when really he was just trying to cover something up.

"I think I broke my big toe," I answered. The whole time I was standing there I realized I didn't care what he was hiding from me. That was just another clue that he needed to go, I was just being an idiot.

"Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?" James asked teasingly. No, I didn't want him to touch me right now. I was sure I was radiating anger, even though I was mostly angry with myself.

Shaking my head no, I sat down on the couch beside him. I only sat down to get off my foot, not to be close to him, but he took it that way. Slipping out of the ridiculous shoes I put my feet on the couch. James picked the hurt foot up and actually kissed that toe. Narrowing my eyes at him, I was suspicious. He just didn't do things like that.

"Why are you home? I thought you were going to meet with friends today?" I asked attempting to take my foot back, he only held on tighter. In the back of my head I wished he'd let go, I didn't like touching feet or people touching mine. No one would ever accuse me of having a foot fetish, they were disgusting, even well cared for ones. Feet were there for one reason and one reason only: to walk from one place to another, that's it.

"Um... I did. They came and picked me up. I haven't been home that long." he answered, but he had a guilty look on his face and his eyes would never settle on me. Yeah, no reason to be suspicious, none at all.

"Okay," was my brilliant reply. "Listen, I'm going to take a shower. Maybe it will make me feel better." Mostly I wanted to get away from him. Huh, I wanted to get away from everyone. That made me wonder if it wasn't everyone else, if it was me that had the problem.

"All right," he said letting my foot go. Ambling towards the bathroom I stripped out of my clothes along the way, leaving them where they landed, knowing I was still going to have to pick them up later. What difference did it make? Now or later, it'd get done.

Stepping into the shower I turned on the water and waited until it heated up to stand beneath the spray. The warm water relaxed my muscles and cleansed my frustration of the day away. This was the best I'd felt all damn day, even if I still wasn't putting all my weight on my stupid toe.

Getting out I decided on just putting on a pair of pajama pants, even though it was still the middle of the afternoon. As bad as this day had been so far, I was not stepping foot out of this house.

Rummaging through the bathroom drawers I found tape for my still throbbing toe, so it wouldn't hurt as much, maybe. The lesson here was don't hit, well, kick, things just because you want to; it will only make it worse when you feel pain from it later.

Walking back into the living room I sat back down on the couch. James hadn't moved an inch as far as I could tell, lazy ass. _Oh right, Edward, like you don't want to do the same thing right now. You are a fucking hypocrite. _That's right, I was. Somehow I thought I was entitled to it though, this was _my_ house, mine, not his. Most of the time I felt like he was a loafer I couldn't get rid of, or a roommate I never wanted, not a boyfriend.

"Feeling better?" he asked me. Well, apparently I was physically better, but I still needed an attitude adjustment, big time.

"Yeah, fine," I told him leaning my head back and closing my eyes.

Feeling a hand on my thigh, my eyes popped open to find his face inches from my own. Great, I'd have to pretend I liked whatever happened next when I wouldn't. Seriously, sometimes he made me wonder if I was even gay anymore, which was idiotic, I knew I was. We hadn't had sex at all in the last couple of months. I mean we did everything, except penetration, which was weird. We'd never had a problem with it before, so I didn't even know why that stopped.

James' lips pressed against mine and I kissed him back without even thinking. He pulled me onto his lap and I wondered what the hell he wanted this time. My body became a traitor and responded to him, and I thrust my hips against him feeling both of our hard cocks against each others.

Moaning into his mouth, my hands moved of their own volition to tug his shirt off. Throwing it over my shoulder, I reattached my lips to his. Now that I was here, I couldn't stop myself.

Pushing me away from him roughly, he growled out, "Suck my dick." Inside, I could feel the disgust coming on and moved off him onto the floor, leaving my pants on, so it wouldn't be as obvious that I was losing my erection. He had already undone his jeans as I slid to the floor and was hurriedly pulling them and his boxers down and scooting his ass to the edge of the couch. The groan that came out of my mouth he probably thought was at seeing him naked, it wasn't. He was beautiful, that wasn't my problem with him, but damn, he was rough and not in a good or erotic way. I already knew what was coming and knew I wouldn't like it. Getting him off as quickly as possible would be the best way to get this over with. Sucking him off shouldn't be a chore, it never had been with anyone else, just him, only him. I couldn't help but resent him because of it.

Tentatively I licked the head of his cock and then leaned back biting my lip and looking at him. "Am I doing this right?" I asked, the whole point of this being he got off the fastest to me pretending like I'd never sucked someone's dick before. Well shit, there wasn't really any reason to me having ever learned anything with anyone else, totally and utterly pointless.

"You're doing just fine, babe," he replied while fisting my hair in his hands and practically shoving my head back down on his hard cock. Great, now the part I really hated. Fucking hell, what the fuck was I doing? I could tell him no. I could kick him out finally, but I did neither of these things.

Enveloping him in my mouth I didn't even have to move my own head. No, nope, he did it for me, ass. He was fast and rough, thrusting his dick in my mouth and holding my head in his hands shoving it down hard at the same time. I tried my hardest not to gag, well no, not gag, that was a given, but not to actually puke on him. The gagging went along with his whole first time fetish thing and I knew it would make this end faster. This wasn't the first time I wondered if he was like that with other people and what they thought about it.

Wanting nothing more than to get this act over with as quickly as possible I moved one hand from his thigh that had been keeping my balance and swiped some of the saliva that had pooled in my mouth and was sliding down my chin. Gross I know, but I really had no way of swallowing anything at the moment, at least not unless he slowed down, which he wouldn't. Using the wet digits I circled his anus and pushed a finger inside. Yep, that did it. I didn't get very far or do very much before he came in my mouth and damn if I didn't choke on his cum, dumb ass. It was preferable to actually swallow that shit than choke and sputter on it, but with him there was just no way that would ever happen.

Sitting back on my heels I reached for James' shirt that had been thrown behind me. Using that I wiped what cum I didn't swallow away. Looking at the shirt in my head I could feel rage start to boil over and threw the shirt at him before standing up. If I didn't get out of this room right now I was going to end up being physically violent.

Catching the shirt James looked up at me and said completely calm, "Thanks, babe." What? Kicking his teeth in right about now sounded great. Why didn't I just bite him when he was in my mouth before? _You wouldn't bite him there and you know it, that shit hurts like a motherfucking bitch. _

Turning away from him I began walking back to the bedroom and was about halfway there before James called, "Edward?" Knowing I shouldn't I turned to face him and he asked, "Can you get me a beer before you go in there?"

White hot rage erupted from me and I yelled, "Get yourself your own damn beer, asshole!" Okay, so maybe that was a tad dramatic, but it felt good as I'd already decided against physical violence. He looked at me dumbfounded and I realized this was the first time I had ever actually yelled at him, or even fought with him. Why today? Oh, that's right, Alice.

Slamming the bedroom door once I'd reached it, I locked it and paced the floor. This was my own damn fault. I didn't have to put up with this. After a while I finally calmed down and sat on the bed. It was then that I realized James didn't even bother to try to reciprocate, selfish bastard. I might use the excuse that he felt my anger and that's why he didn't, but no, no more excuses. He was selfish far too often for me to even consider that.

Lying in bed I came to the conclusion that James must go. He was pretty and that's about it, hell, I had plenty of pictures of pretty boys to jerk off to and I was positive that if it came down to it I'd have no trouble picking someone up. There were a lot of hot guys out there, even blond ones, that I could fuck and leave. Yeah, right now one night stands were sounding better and better.

All right, now how the hell do I get rid of him? That's easier said than done, especially while he was still living in my house. Deciding I was too drained to think on it anymore I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. This could wait until tomorrow, hopefully he'd royally fuck up and I'd have a great excuse to remove him from my life. _Why do you need an excuse? You'd don't like him, get rid of him, idiot._


	2. Chapter 2

**The Cellar Door: Chapter Two**

**AN: **_Again this was pre-read by Dilmn8, as was the rest of the entire story, thanks so much. Also, I think I should mention this entire fic is in Edward's point of view. I never knew something I meant to be about 6K would grow this big. Anyway, here's the next chapter._**  
**

_Characters belong to SM_

**EPOV**

Between wakefulness and dreaming I found myself watching myself in a dream, floating there. _My dream self, the one not watching, was standing there, his back to me. The only reason I knew it was me was the unruly auburn hair, because every single other man in this dream had blond hair. They were all standing behind me in a straight line. I couldn't figure out what the hell this was about. I, both watched, and felt the first blond man step close to my back and kiss the side of my neck. As hard as I tried to turn my head around to see who it was I couldn't. Why couldn't I turn around? Each man behind him did the same thing before stepping out of line. Lips after lips touched my neck and I felt each chest against my back, none felt the same, even in the dream, but they all felt good. _

_When the next one stopped behind me, my floating self gasped and held its breath waiting. This time the person wrapped their arms around my waist pressing themselves closer than any other had. His lips descended on my neck and kissed me before sucking the skin between his teeth, lightly biting me. I had to turn around, I had to see this one. I _had _to. _

_Turning in his arms, I could actually move this time. What I saw made my breath quicken. He had to be the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. He had curly blond hair, just long enough I could get a good hold if I wanted to pull it. His eyes were steel blue and had a light behind them, one that was rarely seen in anyone. His nose wasn't perfect, but it looked perfect on him. The smile he gave was a little crooked, showing straight white teeth and pink-red lips. I tried to pull away from him so my gaze could roam over the rest of him, but he held me tighter, not letting go. When I frowned at that he laughed and whispered, "Soon. You'll see me soon." Then he was gone and I was standing there with no one. My dark green eyes swam with tears, knowing this person wasn't coming back to me._

Pounding on the door woke me completely and I shot out of bed. Wiping my face I realized the tears I had weren't just in the dream, if the wetness on my face was any indication. Why the hell would I be crying? It was just some stupid dream. Shaking my head I had to get rid of those thoughts. I had other things to worry about right now.

"Damn it, Edward, open up the god damn door," James shouted from the other side, making me not want to do any such thing. "Look, I need to change clothes and all my clothes are in there." Hmm... I could remedy that real quick.

Unlocking the door I didn't open it, but sat back down on the bed. James strode in and gave me a once over before saying, "You look a mess." No kidding. "Did you know it's after noon?" he asked me shrugging out of clothes while he grabbed new ones.

"Yeah, so? I hadn't planned on leaving the house again today," I replied.

Giving me an incredulous look James said, "Again? That would mean you left the house once."

"Of course I left the house, I saw Alice today," I argued.

James snorted at me and said, "_That_ was yesterday, this is today, the next day. You slept all night and all morning in here. I slept on the couch." He seemed bitter that I made him sleep on the couch. I, on the other hand, was happy he hadn't slept in my bed and if I had my way he wouldn't sleep on the couch anymore either. At some point between yesterday and today my resolve only grew and solidified to get rid of him and I felt elated about having reached that conclusion.

Changing the subject I asked, "You going somewhere?"

"Yeah, The Cellar Door. I know you don't like that place or I would have invited you," James answered, diverting his eyes. Fucker, see if I care what you are hiding. His absence would give me the perfect opportunity to do what I needed to.

Going along with it, I agreed, "You're right, I don't like that place. Have fun without me."

I swore I heard a muttered, "I'll definitely have more fun without you."

"Babe, why don't you take a shower before you leave and I'll fix us some lunch," I was placating him, just so I could buy some time. He had no reason to doubt my intent, like I did his.

"That sounds wonderful," James replied smiling just a little, and I saw what I'd first seen in him. I almost took everything I thought yesterday back and then nearly kicked myself for being so stupid. This was the last day he'd ever be in my home.

Heading towards the kitchen I made a quick lunch. I was starving after not eating lunch or dinner yesterday, nor breakfast today. Setting the table and making sure I could hear the shower running I went in search of James' keys. He wasn't observant enough to know a key was missing, especially with so many on his key ring. Finding it I removed the house key and added it back to my own set of keys. If anyone else had this key again it would be because I asked them to live here with me, not someone that just took liberties.

By the time James came out I was settled in a chair, happily chewing my food. I felt so much better than yesterday, lighter. Looking at me, James grinned and commented, "You look like you are in a better mood today."

"Yeah, I guess I am," I acknowledged grinning back, he didn't have to know why I was happier. Inside I was dancing as I knew I would finally be free, free to find someone new.

Polishing off our lunches James headed to the door leading into the garage and I followed him. I would have to time this just right. Opening the garage door for him I watched him open the door to his car and get in. James slid in the driver's seat and I leaned in and kissed him hard, watching until his eyes closed. Getting into the kiss he pulled me closer to him as one of my own hands went to his head to keep him there and the other went to the sun visor and pulled the garage door opener off. Sneaking it behind me and in the back of my waistband of my pajama bottoms I backed away from him. "Edward, that was... wow. When did you start kissing like that?" James asked actually curious. Shrugging at him, I didn't know. As far as I knew it wasn't that different from any other kisses, was it? Maybe it was my attitude.

"Have a good time, James. Don't worry about the garage door, I need to take out the trash before tomorrow," I called and waved goodbye, I tried to keep the snicker out of my voice when I used the word trash. James pulled out of my driveway and I hoped it was the last time I'd ever see him.

My eyes wandered inside the garage looking for boxes. I knew I had some in here somewhere. Finding them I took them inside the house and looked around accounting all of James' stuff. Removing the garage door opener I set it on the kitchen counter and turned some music on. I was going to be in a good mood today if it killed me.

Starting with his clothes I made sure every last stitch that belonged to him was packed away, including dirty ones. Anything and everything he brought into this house was going, I wanted no reminder of him, nor did I want anything left for him to come back and get. Things we bought together were going too, I could buy new ones if I thought I really needed it.

Carrying all the boxes out I set them on the driveway, right where James would pull up. If that wasn't a hint I didn't know what would be. Closing the garage door and dusting my hands off I walked back into the house, grabbed a beer and laid on the couch, _my_ couch. Turning on the TV I watched what I wanted to, upside down, with no one telling me why I shouldn't. Living alone was definitely better.

My phone woke me a little while later. Why the hell did I fall asleep, again? Kicking James out must have stressed me out more than I thought. Ignoring my phone I decided I should probably take a shower after moving all that shit out.

The shower made me feel loads better, so I found the nicest clothes I owned and decided I should go out, even if it was a Sunday, and there never was much going on those days. Grabbing my keys and my phone I headed towards my car and looked at the missed calls, voice-mails and ignoring those, read my texts. All of them came from my best friend Seth. At first they started out just wanting to hang out. Later, they were all telling me to call him, it was important. Snorting, I thought that was unlikely. When the phone rang in my hand though I gave him a break and answered, "Hey, Seth, what's up?"

"_What's up? What's up? Do you know how long I've been trying to get a hold of you, man?"_ Seth sounded upset.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked him softly.

"_You need to come down here right now,"_ he commanded.

Done with people telling me what to do I barked out a laugh and replied, "Not likely." I didn't even know where _here_ was that he was talking about.

"_Edward, don't be an ass. There is something I think you need to see,"_ he pleaded.

"Just what am I supposed to be seeing? Can't you tell me and get it over with?" I huffed.

"_No, this is something you need to see for yourself,"_ Seth argued.

"Fine, but where is _here_?" I asked him, knowing he'd probably hang up without telling me if I didn't ask.

"_The Cellar Door," _he stated.

Groaning at him, I said, "Do I have to? I hate that place, that's why James went without me."

"_That's not the only reason, Edward,"_ Seth answered carefully.

Sighing at him, I told him goodbye and I'd get there in a few minutes. What difference did it make what James did? We weren't together anymore, although technically he didn't know that.

Parking in a rundown parking lot, I got out of my car and hoped no one tried to steal it. The Cellar Door was a seedy gay bar that you wouldn't even know was there if you didn't already know about it. The place was dingy and grungy and filled with older gay men and someone like me normally got eaten alive in a place like that. There was an outdoor courtyard and the drinks were cheaper than any bar in town, even straight ones. Those were the only things going for it, which is why I never wanted to come here.

Walking towards the building it was housed in I took the stairs down and opened the door. Immediately the reek and stench of stale sweat and alcohol assaulted my nose. The first thing my eyes landed on were two men fucking on one of the pool tables while other people watched the show or ignored them. Ignoring them was a much better idea, those weren't the kinds of people I wanted to show up in my fantasies, thank you very much.

Scanning the crowd for Seth, my eyes finally landed on him. He was standing next to his friend, Jacob, and they seemed to be fighting off some unwanted attention. "There you guys are, I thought just the three of us were going home together," I pouted, while glaring down the guy that wouldn't leave them alone. He got the hint and stalked away, looking for new prey.

"Thanks, man," Seth said, relieved. Jacob didn't look all too happy with my presence though, as he wished Seth was his boyfriend. He hated Seth's and I's friendship. Of course, it didn't help that Seth and I used to fool around when we were younger. Whatever, it was Jacob's problem he wouldn't admit to Seth's face that he liked him, but I could see it.

If Seth had been blond with blue eyes there was no way we wouldn't be together now. Although I would have to be Native American to be Seth's type too. Jacob had more of an 'in' if he would take advantage of it.

"Why did you make me come down here, Seth?" I asked him, wishing now that I hadn't dressed this nice. I could feel plenty of eyes ogling me, which was flattering, but I just wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible.

Frowning at me, Seth looked worried before he said, "I'm sorry, but I just thought you needed to see this with your own eyes." Then he hugged me and whispered, "If you ever need anything, anything at all, let me know." Jacob had his arms crossed over his chest, giving me a 'if looks could kill' expression. He must have heard what Seth said and knew what he meant, just like I did. Seth was offering himself if I wanted it, which could only mean one thing. He thought James and I would no longer be together. He wasn't wrong, but he didn't know that.

Picking up my hand Seth led me through the crowd of people and pushed open the door to the courtyard. My breath whooshed out of me in a gasp and I gulped all the air I could before moving forward. I hadn't seen James yet, but what I had seen was a gorgeous blond man standing there with his back to me. Circling around I watched his profile, his mouth hung open in shock and there were tears pooling in his eyes. My own mouth opened and closed several times, that was the same man from my dream. I knew without a doubt that it was. Seeing him in person was a shock. It was one thing to have this person in a dream, but in real life? Someone as beautiful as him wouldn't want someone as scruffy as me.

One tear slowly made its way down the blond man's cheek and I wanted to wipe it away, wipe away all the sadness from his face. Wondering what he was crying about I turned my head and felt rage unlike any other that I had felt before take hold of me. Red invaded my eyesight. Right there before us James and some other guy sat on a bench, their lips locked. Neither of them were wearing a shirt.

The sound of a sob next to me is the only thing that could have made me look away from them. In a shaky voice, the man next to me choked out, I assume to the guy James was kissing, "Why? I love you. Why would you do this to me, Peter?" The man standing next to me looked heartbroken. Not knowing what else to do I made my way closer to the man, wanting to take his pain away, but didn't actually touch him. For all I knew, he'd deck me where I stood.

James and the guy I assumed was Peter pulled apart and looked at us both standing there. James, at least, looked away guiltily, but never said anything, the fucker.

"I did love you, Jasper, for a long time. I just don't anymore," Peter told the beautiful man next to me, before his eyes hardened. Jasper... I wanted to roll that name around on my tongue.

"But with my brother? What the fuck is wrong with you? He only wanted you because I had you. That's his M. O., getting whatever I have, and you fucking know that," Jasper was getting louder now, attracting attention. The tears were gone replaced by anger, but I think my own rage rivaled his.

"James, you what? Why the hell would you do that?" I shouted at James. Well, what do you know I did care. No, I didn't care about myself; but I did seem to care about James' brother, that was a total stranger to me, how odd.

Jasper glanced at me before a small light of recognition entered his eyes, but he didn't say anything. Turning back to Peter, Jasper demanded, "How long has this been going on?" I already knew the answer, a couple of months if James and I's lack of sex was anything to go by.

"A couple of months," Peter told Jasper and then took James' hand, of all things. Red completely clouded my vision before I saw Jasper fly by me and punch Peter's face, effectively breaking his nose.

"Jasper..." James growled at his brother and looked as though he was going to take Jasper down. I couldn't let that happen, I wouldn't let that happen. My decision against physical violence yesterday reneged, my fist shot out and hit James in the mouth, blood rolling down his chin. Let him kiss anyone like that, the bastard. James eyes were wide when he looked at me, before he lunged himself at me. Expecting a blow that never came I could feel arms holding me back as someone dragged me back inside. Thinking it was a bouncer that stopped me, I was surprised to turn around and find Jacob standing there.

"Why did you stop us?" I shot angrily, he only shrugged his shoulders, pissing me off further. Opening my mouth to tell him off I saw Seth come up to Jacob and place his hand on his arm and mouth 'thank you.' Jacob only nodded his head. Slapping both of them, not hard, but getting their attention, I exclaimed, "Jacob, would you man up and tell Seth you like him!" Both of their mouths hung open, but I was in no mood to care and decided I had had enough of people's shit. Leaving them both standing there I walked out the door and back up the stairs.

**AN:** _I'm not sure when I'll get around to review replies this time, since my own birthday is tomorrow and I already have a full weekend planned, but I'll get around to it soon._


	3. Chapter 3

**The Cellar Door: Chapter Three**

**AN: **_Thanks guys for the birthday wishes. _

_I'm so glad you guys are loving this. Jen deserves the best for her birthday, too. I hope you guys have read The Major's Pet she wrote for mine. It's dark and fucked up and awesome. It's all Jen's fault that I posted this bit of her story now instead of waiting a little longer.  
_

_Thanks to Dilmn8 for pre-reading for me, you're still awesome._

_Characters belong to SM_

**EPOV**

"Pick up, pick up, pick up," I heard someone say into their phone before I looked to see who it was. "Fuck."

"Are you okay?" I asked not really registering that this was Jasper.

"No, man, I'm not okay. You aren't either," he stated.

"Sure, I am. I've been wanting that ass out of my life for a while now," I answered him, he only raised a brow at me. "Okay, okay, since yesterday. Anyway, as far as I was concerned, it was over before I saw that..." I couldn't bring myself to say what I saw, not because I had a problem with saying it, but because I thought it might upset him. Jasper didn't respond to that, he only looked back down at his phone hoping for a call I was guessing would never come. "Did you need a ride somewhere?" I asked him, certain that was the only reason he was still standing outside of this bar. I'd take him anywhere he wanted to go, this was no place for him, the wolves would come for him, too.

His eyes met mine, looking defeated before he whispered, "I don't have anywhere to go."

"What do you mean you don't have anywhere to go?" I asked him gently. Please tell me you aren't homeless, I really don't want someone else moving in with me right now.

"I walked here, so I didn't need my keys to drive and accidentally left them in my apartment," he told me. I tried to hide my sigh of relief from him. "I've been trying to call my sister to see if she could pick me up and I could stay there, but she isn't answering. I can't go back to my apartment, I know Peter will end up there with James tonight." He tried to blink away the tears that started to form again. Then he said, "Hopefully he's packing up all his shit, so I won't have to see him again."

"Do you want to go with me and get something to eat while you wait to see if she answers? Standing out here can't be good for either of us," That was true, it wasn't just the bar that was seedy.

He looked me over carefully, I suppose trying to make sure I wasn't a serial killer or something. "Jasper, if James isn't dead by my hands right now, I doubt you will be," I joked. He gave me a half smile that didn't reach his eyes. This man, I was convinced, was the one in my dream, but there was no light in his steel blue eyes, it had been snuffed out.

Walking towards my car he would either follow me or he wouldn't, I couldn't make him. Hearing the crunch of footsteps on gravel behind me was the only indication I had that he chose to come with me. Unlocking the doors to my car I got in and waited for him to do the same, he could still change his mind. Jasper's soft sigh as he sat in the passenger seat sounded sad. "Do you care where we go?" I asked him.

"No. I don't think I'll be able to eat anything anyway," Jasper answered and turned his head to look out the window, hiding the tears from my vision. Leaving him to his thoughts I drove, getting us further and further away from that nightmare.

Debating with myself on where we should go I finally chose a restaurant where we could sit outside and enjoy the fresh air. It couldn't hurt either of us to be outside where it would be quieter, calmer. Pulling into the parking lot of one of my favorite local restaurants for having both some of the best food in town and a variety of choices I heard Jasper's breath catch. Concerned I looked at him wondering if we should go somewhere else and voiced it, "Is this okay? Would you rather go somewhere else?"

Giving me a real smile, or at least as good of one as he could manage considering the circumstances, he replied, "No, this is my favorite restaurant. I haven't been able to come here in a long time, Peter hated it." So? In my head, I couldn't understand why he wouldn't still go without Peter then. People do crazy shit and try to change themselves too often to be with someone, I should know.

Smiling back, I said, "Mine, too. Now let's go, I'm hungry." He may not be hungry, but I sure as hell was. Chuckling at me, Jasper got out of the car.

Asking the hostess if we could sit outside since it was a nice day, she led us to our table. Sitting down, Jasper had a wide grin on his face that nearly knocked me out. "What?" I questioned him.

"I prefer sitting outside, too," he responded, never letting the grin slip. How the hell could he be so cheerful at a time like this? My guess was it was easier for him to act like that shit didn't happen and this was an altogether different time. The only reason I seemed to be okay, at least for now, was that I'd already attempted to cut my ex out of my life.

Steering the conversation around anyone and anything not related to Peter or James, it flowed easily between us. Jasper needed this time to think about something else I gathered. "So you said you were trying to get a hold of your sister? Do you get along well with her?" I asked actually curious, as James never shared any of that information with me.

"Yeah, I love her. We get along as well as siblings can, I guess," he told me laughing lightly.

"What is she like?" I asked to keep the conversation going and it wasn't like I was about to ask about James, I already knew what he was like.

"She's great. Rosalie is pretty, and most people think she's a bitch, and you wouldn't be wrong, but if she loves you, you're hers for good." Jasper's eyes misted over as he said that and made me want to ask more, but our food arrived at the same time.

Eating our first few bites in silence I closed my eyes and enjoyed being at peace, for the first time in a very long time. Opening them again I saw Jasper chewing his food looking out at people passing by. Then I watched as he brought another bite to his mouth, and watched him chew it in fascination. Swallowing it he turned his head and narrowed his eyes at me before asking, "Do you have to do that? It makes me nervous."

Gaping at him, I thought that was impossible. How could I make _him_ nervous? Shutting my mouth quickly, trying not to be impolite, I changed the subject. "For someone that said they weren't hungry, you sure seem to be enjoying your food."

Taking another bite he chewed exaggeratedly and claimed, "It's delicious." That only made me laugh at his antics. I nearly forgot why we were here. That was, I forgot until Jasper's phone rang.

"Hey, Rose," Jasper told his sister on the other end of the line. "No, no, I'm fine or I will be fine. Can you come get me?"

Frowning at her, he said, "Okay, I guess I'll have to figure something else out then. Come home safe."

Saying their goodbyes Jasper hung up and took a deep breath. "She can't get you?" I asked him and he shook his head no. "Do you have somewhere else to go?"

Sighing, he said, "I can always stay in a hotel. I didn't forget my wallet when I walked out." Nodding at him, we finished our food in silence. Asking him to stay at my house tonight seemed like the best idea ever, but I'd just gotten rid of one person and besides, I wasn't sure he'd be comfortable with that.

Thwarting the conversation away from that topic for the moment I asked, "Where did your sister go?"

"Oh, her and her husband went away for the weekend. They go out of town every now and then to get away from the city. Anyway, they aren't coming home until tomorrow morning," Jasper explained.

The only thing I could think of to say was, "That's cool, at least they get away from it all sometimes." _God, why are you talking like an idiot? Don't you have anything better to say? _ Scanning my brain, nothing came to mind.

"Yeah..." he replied, trailing off. Thinking he didn't have anything else to add because what I said was so dumb, I was surprised when he said, "I wish I could do that sometimes, just get away from everyone." In my head, I was thinking they didn't get away from everyone, they still had each other, but I wasn't about to argue the point.

The waitress came to our table and handed over the bill. Before I had a chance to pick it up or look at it Jasper snatched it up. He handed it back to her with cash and told her, "Keep the change."

When she left I hissed, "What did you that for? I could have paid for myself." That did not sit well with me. Now I felt like I owed him something, shit.

"You know you could just say thank you, instead of getting all pissy," he shot back. Glaring at him, I crossed my arms over my chest and clenched my jaw shut. "Okay then, don't say thank you." Jasper stood up to leave and walked away from me. Where the fuck did he think he was going? I drove us here.

"Hey, wait up!" I called out catching up to him.

"Wait for what? I don't need you. I can get a ride from someone else or a cab, and be out of your hair." Jasper was actually seething. Shit, I stuck my foot in my mouth, but this seemed to be an overreaction.

_How do I make this right?_ I did the only thing I could think of, I apologized, even if I wasn't sure that I deserved that kind of reaction. It's not like I expected either of us to have clear heads today. "I'm sorry, Jasper." Tipping his head at me in acknowledgment that he heard me, he still kept walking away from me. "Where are you going? I said I was sorry."

Snorting at me, he replied, "You're not sorry, you just don't want me to be mad at you."

He was right. "Look, you're right, I don't want you to be mad at me." Why should I care? I just met the guy today and not under the best of circumstances either. Taking a deep breath, I admitted, "I'm not used to people doing nice things for me, especially when they don't have an ulterior motive."

"You mean James?" he asked, seeming to know perfectly well that's what I meant. I could only nod my head in answer.

Under his breath, I distinctly heard, "Motherfucker, why does he fuck everyone up?" Knowing it was a rhetorical question I didn't respond.

Taking a deep breath I asked nervously, "Do you want to come to my house tonight? At least until you can get back into your apartment?" Compromising with myself I decided to invite him over as a sort of apology, but I wanted to make it clear he was not moving in. It would be a while before I let anyone live with me again.

Giving me a dubious look, he said, "I don't know. Wouldn't that be weird?" Weird because he was with me or weird because as of this morning I was still with his brother? I chose not to ask.

Shrugging at him, I answered, "You don't have to, I can take you to a hotel instead. I just thought we could watch some stupid movies to get our minds off today." _Yeah, Edward, keep telling yourself that._

Debating, he stood there before he said, "Okay."

"Okay, what?" Did he mean my house or a hotel?

"Okay, I'll go to your house. Even though I said sometimes I just want to get away from it all, I don't think that would be the best choice right now," he answered, making me wonder what he was talking about. Surely he'd feel better alone, I did. Oh wait, except he actually loved Peter. No, excuse me, loves Peter, he never said that in past tense. I, on the other hand, had no feelings for James, except relief that he was gone.

Leading the way back to my car I was slightly elated that he wanted to come home with me, and also more than a little worried. What did he expect? I wanted nothing more than to touch him, every inch of him, but that was my dick talking. If anything happened with us tonight, I knew it would be the end of whatever relationship we could ever possibly have together. Hmm... for me deciding one night stands sounded great just last night, how did I come down to this conclusion? Maybe one night stands with other people, just not this one. I wanted Jasper, all of him, he was the man in my dream, after all. We just couldn't get there without more time. I ended what I did with James because that wasn't very healthy. His relationship with Peter was a whole other story. Somehow I knew Jasper would go back to Peter if something happened with James.

"Could you stop thinking so loud?" Jasper asked me in annoyance when we got in the car.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Your expressions, I know exactly what you are thinking," he explained and I breathed a sigh of relief. "Stop worrying so much."

Cutting my eyes over to him, I asked, "Don't you ever worry? If what happened today to you happened to me I'd be a nervous wreck."

Scoffing at me, he stated, "What happened to me _did_ happen to you. Have you already forgotten that part?"

Shaking my head no I answered, "No, it didn't happen to me, because I don't love James. I never did. You love Peter."

Jasper ground out, "No, I don't love that asshole." He was in complete denial.

"Yes, you do. Don't lie to me, I saw it all over your face when you saw the two of them," I argued. Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut?

The rest of the ride to my house was spent in silence. Jasper didn't speak or look at me. Would he even want to come into my house after that? I wasn't so sure I wouldn't have to call a cab or something as the silence became more uncomfortable.

Pulling into the driveway Jasper saw all the boxes left of James' stuff sitting there and his eyes widened. Well, James hadn't been by the house yet then. Snorting to myself I wondered if James would think I did that because of catching him kiss some other guy. No, not kissing, because it was clear that wasn't all they'd been doing for a while.

Opening the garage door I parked and got out, Jasper could do whatever he wanted. Instead of going to the door or leaving, as I thought he'd do, he went over to the boxes. Looking back at me, he asked, "You weren't kidding? You really were kicking James out?"

Frowning at him, I shot back, "Why would I lie about something like that?"

Shrugging at me, he mumbled, "Everyone else lies to me."

"Jasper, you need to know something. I don't lie to anyone, ever, unless it's myself. I do have trouble with that or I wouldn't have been with James this long," I explained. "Not even when I should lie about something."

Nodding at me, he asked, "Can we go inside now? I can't look at this stuff anymore."

"If you're sure you want to come in," I sighed. The whole day was starting to wear on me.

"Well, if you don't want me to, I can go," Jasper's voice was soft when he said that and I nearly had to slap myself to bring me back to the here and now.

"Why would I want you to go? I'm the one that invited you, remember?" I asked in total confusion.

"Yeah, but it seemed like you didn't really want me here," was his quiet reply.

"No, I want you here," I stated firmly. It seems this thing with Peter took whatever confidence Jasper might have had completely out of him. Something would have to be done about that, I just didn't know what.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Cellar Door: Chapter Four**

**AN: **_Thanks to Dilmn8 for pre-reading. _

_Now I don't know what happened with alerts for the last chapters, but I hope you got to read them anyway. I couldn't help myself and had to update this. See, this is what happens when your stuff is completed, it burns holes, even though I'm usually good at holding things back._

_Characters belong to SM_

**EPOV**

Walking through the door that led to the kitchen I called out, "Do you want anything to drink?"

"Yeah, whatever you've got," he answered.

Looking in my fridge I saw a few beers left there and grabbed two bottles. I didn't know about Jasper, but I needed a drink. What I didn't want was to be drunk though, so I forewent the hard liquor. Rummaging in the drawers I finally found what I was looking for. "Aha, found it!" I exclaimed holding up the bottle opener in excitement. Jasper laughed at me, which was the reaction I wanted. It was one thing to be upset with Peter, but I didn't want him to be mad at me too. Popping the tops I handed his over and said, "Cheers."

Giving me a crooked smile he said, "Thanks." We both took big swigs of our beers and I tried carefully not to watch him. Well no, I did watch him, I just hid it better after his reaction in the restaurant.

Heading into the living room I asked, "Do you care what we watch?"

"Something really dumb, preferably. I can't deal with anything even remotely depressing right now," Jasper replied.

"Okay." Walking over to the shelves I shuffled through the movies that were there. Pulling the ones out I thought were beyond silly I let Jasper sort through them and decide. There were new movies, old ones, gay ones, straight ones, whatever, it was his choice. What shocked the hell out of me was when he picked 'Some Like It Hot', an old black and white movie starring Marilyn Monroe. It was funny as hell with Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis dressed as women in it, but still. "Really? I wouldn't have taken you for one of the gay guys that's into divas."

He just looked at me like I'd said the stupidest thing on the planet. "I'm not the one that _owns_ the movie, dumb ass." Looking down at the movie in my hand, he had a point.

Leaving the other movies on the coffee table for now, in case we watched more, I put his choice in. Jasper clearly hadn't seen the movie as he laughed throughout most of it. Knowing all the jokes I didn't laugh at it, but at him. It was like watching a kid play with something they were fascinated with, and in turn made you fascinated.

After the movie I got up and threw our beers away and brought new ones back to the living room. Stepping into the room I saw Jasper standing, raising his arms over his head, stretching. Fuck. The small amount of skin I could see begged to be licked, but I did nothing. When Jasper caught me staring he smirked at me and teased, "See something you like?" Swallowing hard, I nodded and looked away in embarrassment. Social skills were not exactly my strong suit.

"Here," I mumbled pushing the beer into his hand, still unable to look at him.

Picking a movie at random from the coffee table I put it in to have something to do with my hands and a reason not to look at him. I had absolutely no idea what I'd just put on, but I doubted I'd be watching it anyway.

Settling back down on the couch I pressed play and picked up my beer. The beer was gone in about two swallows. Great, now I didn't have anything to occupy myself. Jasper was still standing up as I could see his feet from the corner of my eye. Feet... I wanted to shudder, except I realized that not only were his shoes off, I wasn't disgusted by his feet. What did that say about me? I hoped to god I didn't start having a foot fetish now. I watched as said feet walked closer to me and then joined mine on the coffee table right after I felt a dip on the couch next to me. Jasper was far closer to me this time than he was during the last movie, shit.

Keeping my eyes glued to the flat screen I still had absolutely no idea what I was watching. It played before my eyes, but all my senses were on the man next to me. Jasper definitely wasn't watching the movie either. Laughter where there should have been laughter there was only silence.

Feeling the cushions shift next to me, I risked a glance in Jasper's direction. He was staring right at me. Fuck. "Edward, I wanted to say thank you," he whispered as though he was interrupting.

"What for?" I asked, I hadn't really done anything.

Rolling his eyes at me, he answered, "For not letting me be alone right now." Oh fuck, what was I thinking? I wanted him so much I was starting to forget the reason he was even here in the first damn place.

"Um, you're welcome?" Before the words were completely out of my mouth I felt his hands wrap around my upper arms and push me down on the couch. No, no, no, my mind was screaming. My dick was screaming yes, yes, yes.

When his lips met mine I felt fire unlike I'd felt with anyone else and my body melted into the couch, letting him melt into me. Jasper's tongue licked my lips to get them to part. Opening my mouth to him I smelled and tasted beer, our food, as well as each other. I was thrilled that what I could taste and smell of him underneath it all was nothing like James, which I knew would kill any kind of chemistry we might have.

Knowing I needed to end this soon and yet not wanting to, I weaved my fingers through his blond curls feeling the texture there, so unlike James' smooth one. My hands roamed his chest over his shirt and without realizing it all the buttons popped open. How the hell did I do that? In complete shock I stopped kissing Jasper for a minute. Blinking at him a couple of times I grabbed the ends of his shirt thinking I was going to have to buy him a new one. Looking at the shirt closely I noticed they were snaps and easily undone if you wanted as Jasper's shoulders shook above me. "That's not fair," I snapped. "I thought I was going to have to buy you a new shirt."

"Well, you don't. Now where were we? Oh, that's right, I was kissing you," Jasper said waggling his eyebrows. Wait, no. His lips were on mine again before I could stop him. Yes, I wanted this. Yes, I enjoyed it. Yes, I wanted Jasper. No, I didn't want him to regret this later. No, my heart couldn't take it if he went back to that ass. No, I wasn't into sharing him while he still loved someone else. I don't share. Call me a selfish bastard, it's not a lie.

Pulling away from me, he asked, "Do you ever stop thinking? Don't you just feel?"

Shaking my head no in answer to him, he sat up. I wasn't that kind of person. Sure, I felt things, but to be honest the most emotion I remember feeling for anyone or about anything happened in the last two days. Typically I was a logical, calculated person.

Somehow we ended up back in the same position we'd been watching that movie. However, Jasper made absolutely no move to button his shirt back up. If he was trying to make me hot and bothered he was definitely doing it. It took me a while to relax enough I could sit there with him without feeling flustered.

When the movie was over I asked, "Another movie? Or do you need to get some sleep?" Tomorrow was Monday, so I didn't know if he had to work or whatever.

"Don't you need to get some sleep?" he deflected the question off of him. Immediately I didn't like it, that reminded me of James, making my stomach churn. He would either tell me what he was hiding or I'd kick him out on his ass.

Deciding I'd be honest with him, I hoped I'd get the same in return. "No, I work for myself," I stated. Now, I said I'd be honest, not forthcoming, those were two different things. His eyebrows raised in surprise. "What do you do?" I questioned him praying he'd give me the right answer, the honest one.

"Um... well, tomorrow during the day I have school, but after today I don't think I'm going. I need to make sure Peter is out of my apartment," he told me. Ah, so he was honest, but not forthcoming, well, neither was I. Let's see if we can try this again.

"What do you go to school for?" I asked. It was a simple enough question.

Screwing up his face, he announced, "Business Management."

Trying to hide my laughter I said, "I take it that you don't like it then."

Shrugging at me, he remarked, "It's not that I don't like it, it's just that I keep getting visions of The Office playing in my head. I really don't want that."

Bursting into laughter now, I declared, "I hate to break it to you, but most office environments have some sort of crazy stuff going on there just like that show. Hell, I'm the boss and shit like that happens in my office."

"So what kind of business is it?" Jasper asked me seeming slightly interested.

"I own my own software company. It's not big, but I make enough to stay afloat," I replied. Now maybe you will understand my social ineptitude. Yep, by the look on his face I think he got it.

"You said you went to school during the day, what do you do at night?" I was sure that he worked at night to make money to pay for his apartment. My guess was it wasn't that much considering he walked to that bar and it wasn't known for being on the nicer side of town.

His eyes darted around nervously, and demanded, "Do you promise not to laugh?" Nodding my head I waited for him to go on. "I'm a dancer." My eyes widened at that. What kind of dancer? He answered my unspoken question. "In a cage, kind of dancer. It doesn't pay as well as people would think it does." Well, I could see why he didn't want to tell me, but honestly I didn't care. I wasn't his babysitter. "Are you okay with that?" he asked me fidgeting. Why the hell wouldn't I be? I wasn't the jealous type under normal circumstances and as we weren't together anyway, I was okay.

"Fine, I'm fine with it," my voice almost came out in a stutter, but I managed to catch it. Not because I didn't like what he did, but because I wanted to watch him dance. Fuck, did I ever. What I couldn't figure out is what he'd ever see in a guy like me.

"Good, then you won't mind if I try this again," Jasper claimed while leaning into me. When his lips touched mine again I knew he was sent here just to torture me. My hands touched his bare chest and went around his back to press him closer to me. What the fuck was I doing again? I just couldn't seem to stop myself. Jasper's hands tugged at the hem of my shirt and pushed it up. Raising my arms over my head I let him take it off before common sense brought me back to reality. My bare chest would touch his at the very least, I was going to make sure of that.

Trying a different tactic this time, Jasper seemed to think me being on top of him might work better. Finding myself over him as he was lying on the couch I drank him in, never getting my fill. Placing a kiss between his nipples first I continued upwards and nipped his jaw. Jasper's arms pulled me down to him roughly so we were touching as much as was possible with pants on. Leaving one arm around my waist his other hand pushed my head down, not like James, but just enough so his lips could press against mine again. Sucking my bottom lip between his teeth he nibbled at it lightly making me moan and shift against him. His dick was hard against my hip and that's when it hit me what we were doing, what we shouldn't be doing for the hundredth time tonight.

Resting my forehead against his I was breathing heavily and trying to catch my breath. His lips and hands didn't stop moving over me, making me nearly forget again. "Jasper, look at me," I commanded. He stopped and gave me a concerned look. "We can't do this."

Frowning at me, he said, "Yes, we can. Don't tell me that you don't want to. I can feel you, Edward."

"No, I didn't mean I don't want to. I meant we can't. We just met today." Sitting up I took a deep breath as Jasper propped himself on his elbows. "And what would you do if Peter wanted you back tomorrow, no matter what happened or didn't between us?" Saying that out loud was painful, but it needed to be said. If I didn't give a shit, we'd fuck, be done and to hell with the consequences, but I did give a shit.

Letting out a deep breath, he raked his hands through his hair, a gesture that I was aware I did often. His reply wasn't what I wanted to hear, but it was honest, "I don't know, Edward. I mean I really like you and you're hot, but we just met. I've been with Peter more than two years and up until today I thought I was in love with him and he loved me." That was the answer I expected, and it saddened me.

Pushing myself all the way off of Jasper I changed the subject and joked, "You think I'm hot?" He only rolled his eyes as if I was being dense. Maybe I was, people like him don't give me the time of day. I was good looking in my own right, but I wasn't drop dead gorgeous like he was.

Jasper sat up and patted the seat cushion beside him, I eyed it warily. "I won't attack you again, I promise," he told me, but I wasn't so sure I was happy about that. Sitting down heavily beside him, Jasper whispered in my ear, "I think you're beautiful."

Snorting at him the laughter burst forth before I realized that was probably impolite. I didn't believe him. Beautiful? Hah! I wasn't beautiful, least of all to him. I couldn't be. Jasper almost pouted at me, but managed to turn it into a scowl instead and huffed, "Why can't you take a compliment?"

Calming down, I looked him up and down answering, "Not when someone as gorgeous as you tells me I'm beautiful. It's hard to believe."

Scoffing at me, he pronounced, "You are beautiful and I am not gorgeous. I really hate that word, gorgeous. It kind of gives me the creeps."

"So you are arguing over the word, not the fact that you are, right?" I had to make sure, because even if he didn't like the word, he was gorgeous.

"Right. Edward, I know I'm a good looking guy, that's how I get paid," he replied in exasperation. "What I don't get is you thinking that you aren't, that's crazy talk." Well, okay, so I was logical, but maybe not with common sense when it came to social things. Whatever gene that was, I didn't have it. If I did, that might have made me see past reason and dump James long before now, before anyone in my life even disapproved.

Shaking my head at him, I said, "I don't see it. I have no idea what you are talking about. I know I'm good looking, but in comparison to you? I don't see it, at all."

"Let me give you an idea. This messy auburn hair that looks like you've had hands pulling at it while being fucked is only one," he started. Right... that was a bane of my existence. My hair was more than a minor annoyance in my life, enough to make me want to shave it all off. When I told Jasper so, he smacked me. "I'm talking right now and you're gonna listen, not argue over every little thing that I tell you is truth," he commanded. Trying to remain silent I waited. "I love that your smile is slightly crooked, it makes me feel a little less awkward that mine is too." What? Was that a compliment or should I be insulted? Keeping my mouth shut I waited for him to continue. "I've always loved green eyes, that's my favorite color," he told me looking directly into my own. I wanted to argue with him that his blue eyes were better, but I didn't. "You're exactly the build I'd look for in a guy. Tall, thin, some muscle, but not bigger than mine." I nearly snorted at that. Isn't that what made me more of a nerd? Then he raised his hand to my cheek and the stubble I had from all day rasped against his palm. "I love this, too. It makes me feel like I'm with an actual guy, not one that desires nothing more than to be a woman."

Taking a shuddering breath I didn't know what to say. He may see me that way, but I still didn't. I couldn't believe him. Looking at him, all I could think of was gorgeous, tall, more muscular than me, steel blue eyes that I wanted to fall into, and blond curls that I wanted to wrap my fingers around. Did I tell him any of that? No. Why? Because I was a coward and that was sappy shit. Sappy shit made me uncomfortable. I barely managed to squeak out, "Thank you." Fuck, that wasn't like a guy at all and didn't he just say he liked men, as in manly men?

Jasper chuckled at me and came out with, "You're cute." I didn't think he meant my looks this time, it was my awkwardness and I rolled my eyes at him, annoyed.

"So what do you want to do now?" I asked him to get our topic of conversation off of this. It was making me both uncomfortable and turned on, neither of which I wanted right now.

"Do you mind if we just watch some more movies?" Jasper requested.

"No, I don't mind," I responded. "Let's see what else we've got here. Dude, where's my car?" I held up the movie for his inspection.

"Sounds good," he replied making himself more comfortable on my couch. Instead of being annoyed with him like I had been with James, I was happy Jasper felt relaxed here.

Needing to use the bathroom after all that beer I headed towards my bedroom. "Where are you going?" Jasper asked me almost desperately as I walked past him. "Please don't go. I promise I won't attack you anymore, I just don't want to be alone right now," he pleaded with me and grasped my hand tightly, not wanting me to leave him. "Please don't leave me, too," he begged again barely above a whisper. Looking at our clasped hands and back at his face, it was so sad I wanted to hug him, but thought better of it.

"I'm just going to piss, I'll be right back before you know it," I replied and he let go of my hand. Man, he wasn't really as well off as he was pretending to be, if that was any indication. We'd had such a good time that I kept forgetting the details as to why he was here with me, repeatedly.

After using the bathroom I came back to the living room to see Jasper sitting there, sobbing. Apparently the movies and me were only distracting him from having a breakdown. This time I didn't even hesitate to hug him and let him cry on my shoulder. See, I knew it would be a bad idea to fuck him. I wasn't wrong. The movie remained on pause while I held him to me and ran my fingers through his hair, both to soothe him and to satisfy my curiosity a bit more, twisting the curls around my fingers every now and then.

Neither of us said anything, we didn't need to. He was hurting and this was the only thing I could give him, comfort. Even someone as dense as me understood that. We never did get around to watching that movie. Jasper basically cried himself to sleep as I looked on. This felt almost too personal to watch, but he was the one that didn't want to be left alone. My own sleep claimed me shortly thereafter with my heart being squeezed, not for me, but for him. Someone as gorgeous and kind as he was didn't deserve what happened to him. It was probably his kindness that led him not to believe anything was going on in the first damn place though and that broke my heart a little more. Would he have to become hard and lose the kindness to survive? I hoped not.

**AN:** _No, I didn't use Jasper as a dancer because of Dillon, even though I know he wouldn't have minded. :) That actually comes from someone I know in real life._


	5. Chapter 5

**The Cellar Door: Chapter Five**

**AN: **_Thanks still goes to Dilmn8 for pre-reading this for me. :)_**  
**

_Characters belong to SM_

**EPOV**

Waking up to yelling outside I could see the sunlight stream through the living room windows. The shades had been left open and the windows up to let in air. James and Peter were standing there looking right through the window and Jasper and I were still curled up together. Oh, fuck. "What the fuck did you do, Edward?" James was shouting at me. "You just fucked my brother because you hate me that much, is that it?" Peter actually looked scared, not because James was yelling though. I still remembered Jasper saying James wanted whatever he had and if James thought Jasper had me, he might want me back. That would happen over my cold, dead body.

Trying to blink the sleep away I untangled my body from Jasper's and felt him stir awake. During the night we'd both ended up lying down on the couch in each others' arms. Our clothes were rumpled, at least the ones we were still wearing, so I could see how James thought something happened. If it wasn't for my moral compass telling me no, it probably would have.

Jasper's arms encircled my waist tightly and he pressed a soft kiss to my neck. His hard dick was pressed into my thigh. Did he even know it was me? I wondered if he thought it was Peter, since he was still a bit out of it. "Jasper, stop doing that and wake up right now," I whispered, trying not to startle him.

When I darted my head up again I could see rage rolling off James through the open window. He looked as though he wanted to murder me. What the fuck? Even if what happened was what he was apparently thinking, I didn't do it first. No, the fucker had had plenty of time to fuck up his brother's relationship. He got what he wanted, so why did it matter? Oh, that's right, he wanted what he couldn't or wasn't supposed to have.

Placing my hands behind me on Jasper's arms I gently removed them from my waist. Jasper seemed a bit disgruntled, but still hadn't opened his eyes yet. Getting off him without jostling him too much was no easy feat, but I managed it.

Making my way towards the window James was standing there, fuming. His mouth opened to shout at me some more. I cut him off. "Keep it down," I hissed. "Do you really want the neighbors to call the cops?"

"What the fuck are you doing with my brother?" James demanded.

Opening my mouth to speak I felt a hand on my shoulder and could see Jasper's blond curls in the corner of my eye. "Why does it matter to you?" Jasper seethed. "You can't want him back, you didn't want him when you were together or you wouldn't have gone after Peter."

James looked at me, at Jasper's hand on my shoulder and I watched as jealousy passed over his face. Peter took a shuddering breath and looked away, it seemed he finally understood what Jasper had been telling him. James only wanted what Jasper had. I glared at James, there was nothing he could do or say that would make me take him back. If I did, then what? Jasper goes back to Peter and we wait for history to repeat itself? No, thank you. Of course, it might be more of a problem if I was actually tempted to take James back, but I most definitely wasn't.

Considering opening the door I quickly shut down that option. Peter's nose was still all bruised and James' lip cut up and swollen, so I wasn't sure they wouldn't attack us as soon as we were in arm's length. Although the idea of being close enough for physical retaliation didn't seem half bad.

"James, get your shit and get off my property," I commanded.

"And did my brother here help you put this shit out here?" James sneered. I snorted, his stuff was shit.

"No. I did that all by myself before I even saw you at the bar," I proclaimed proudly. I was proud of myself, for taking control of my life. "So, it wouldn't matter if you hadn't done it and me see it, you still would have been out on your ass." Scowling at me, he rummaged for his keys and looked through the key ring and noticed the house key was gone.

"You fucker, how could you do that without even telling me?" James' voice had raised to shouting again.

"I don't have to explain myself to you," I looked at Peter pointedly. "Now get off my property."

Jasper came closer to the window and spoke softly to Peter, but with assertiveness. "Get your stuff out of my apartment. Leave the key under the mat. I expect everything to be out before five today." Peter looked down, back at Jasper with a sad look and nodded his head. What the fuck? Peter was the one that brought this on himself, he had no right to be sad.

Then Jasper turned his attention onto James. "Stay out of my life. After today I never want to see or hear from you again, do you hear me?" Jasper demanded.

"You know that won't happen, we're twins. You can't live without me." James spoke with conviction.

Jasper snorted and said, "There's a reason no one in the family likes you, you bastard. Get out of my life." Jasper turned away from the window mumbling with, "With family like that, who needs enemies?" I thought the phrase was friends, not family, but whatever, it worked in this situation.

"Take your shit and go," I ground out before turning my back on James.

Sitting on the couch Jasper was clutching his head in his hands. He looked like he was trying to rub a headache away. Moving to sit beside him, I massaged the back of his neck to get some of the tension to go away. Finally Jasper lowered his hands and let his head fall onto the back of the couch.

Not knowing what else to do I asked, "Are you hungry?" He only shook his head no, but I got up and made toast anyway. He'd told me he wasn't hungry last night too and yet he did eat. Jasper must have thought it smelled halfway decent though as he turned up in the kitchen. Setting the toast on the breakfast table and some juice I pushed it towards him. He picked up a piece of the bread and bit into it. It seemed to take him a long time to chew it, but he eventually swallowed. Neither of us said anything as we ate in silence.

Watching him, I noticed he looked like shit, and I mean shit. His eyes had dark circles under them from lack of sleep. They were puffy from crying and bloodshot. The light in his eyes that had hints of returning wasn't there this morning either. His hair was all over the place, but that I didn't mind so much, I was sure mine was too. Even looking like shit, he was still gorgeous.

Jasper looked defeated and I didn't protest when he lied back down on the couch. Deciding I couldn't think clearly in the same room with him, I headed to the shower. At least if I was clean I'd be a little more on my toes, so to speak. The shower didn't take long enough. I wasn't in the mood for jerking off, so that cut my shower time in half.

Getting dressed I went through my things to find clothes that were big on me. If Jasper wanted to change he could wear these, even if they'd be a bit snug and laid them out onto the bed.

When I came out of the shower Jasper was once again asleep on my couch. I wasn't sure I could sleep if I was him. He tossed and turned fitfully. To stop it I lied down next to him and put my arms around him, that seemed to help calm him down.

Jasper's breath ruffling my hair brought me back to reality and I realized I'd fallen asleep too. It had been a long time since I'd slept in anyone's arms. Last night had to be the first time in at least a year or so, James wasn't the cuddling type. Shifting my weight I opened my eyes to see steel blue ones staring back at me. "Um..." Shifting again I got up and mumbled, "I'm sorry."

Confusion crossed Jasper's face as he asked, "What are you sorry for?"

"You were... and I was... " I stuttered. _Get a hold of yourself, you're more intelligent than this. _"You weren't sleeping very well and I thought you'd sleep better with me, since you did last night." _You have no idea how hard that was to admit to you._

Jasper sat up and commented, "You shouldn't feel sorry for that. I know I slept better with you." What I wouldn't give to just be able to spit out what I felt without embarrassment or fear of consequences like he does.

"I never even asked if it was okay if I stayed here today," Jasper stated, frowning.

"It's okay. How would you get anywhere else anyway? I assume I'm going to take you home, too." _Please let me take you home._ I wanted to know where he lived.

"You don't have to, I'm sure someone else can do it if you need to do something else," Jasper responded. That was not the answer I was looking for.

"No, it's all right. I don't need to do anything else today. Listen, if you want, you can take a shower, I left some clothes on the bed I think you might be able to fit into," I explained, hoping he didn't think that was too weird.

Sighing he got up and stretched saying, "Thank you, I will." He still looked exhausted, like he could sleep for days.

Jasper headed to the bedroom and I took the time to call my office. Since I owned the company it didn't matter if I showed or not, but I thought they ought to know I wasn't coming in. Looking down at my cell phone I'd already had several missed calls from there, each more frantic than the last. _"Where are you? You're never not here. Please let us know before we call 911,"_ Maria pleaded on the other end of the line. She was the manager, so she could run things when I wasn't there, but I just never took days off, ever.

Deciding to end the panicked phone calls I dialed the office. Maria picked up on the first ring, breathless. _"Where the hell are you?"_ She must have checked the caller ID before picking up the phone, she wasn't that unprofessional. Although since the company was small, it was more like a family working together.

"At home. Look, I'm not coming in today," I told her.

"_No shit, Sherlock. I could already tell you weren't coming. We thought you were in an accident or something. You're always here."_ Maria was pissed. Then her voice softened, _"Don't scare us like that again."_

"I'll try not to." I wasn't making any promises, you never knew what could happen.

"_So, why aren't you here? Are you sick or something?"_ she asked me.

"No, I have company today I didn't know I was going to have," I explained.

"_You mean James let you have company?"_ Maria wasn't one of his fans either.

"Not exactly. I kicked James out yesterday." Now, we might be like a family, but she didn't need to know more than that. I was still her boss and there are some lines that shouldn't be crossed even if I didn't care all that much.

"_You what? You kicked James out? It's about damn time,"_ she shouted. In the background I could hear cheers. Yeah, so I guess I was an idiot. My family and friends not liking him was one thing, but my employees? I didn't know it had been that bad. How blind was I?

"Yes, I kicked him out. Now I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day off, okay? You can handle things when I'm not there, right?" I questioned her. She probably rolled her eyes at the other end of the line. Maria had been telling me to take a vacation for a long time now, that she could run things for that long.

"_I can handle it, stop worrying,"_ she commanded.

"Okay, but I'm counting on you. Call me and let me know if you need something." She wouldn't call me, I knew she wouldn't.

Agreeing with me so I'd get out of her hair she said her goodbyes and hung up. When I ended the call on my end I saw Jasper standing there, smirking at me. "You worry a lot, don't you?" he asked me.

"Only when it comes to my business," I retorted.

"I'm sure one day of rest for you won't kill you or them," Jasper guessed. No, I guess not, but why did it feel like it? Shit, I really did need to let go sometimes.

Walking towards me, I couldn't stop staring at Jasper. The clothes I lent him clung to his body and I tried to memorize every plane, every muscle, in my mind. Jasper smiled at me crookedly knowing I was checking him out. He did the same thing to me though, so we were even.

Interrupting our stares Jasper's phone rang. Damn it, what's up with the phone this morning? His eyes never left my body as he answered in a slightly thick gravel, "Hello?"

He cocked his head to listen to the other person. "No, I'm not going to class today. Can I get copies of your notes for later?"

Sighing, he answered, "Later. I'm not at home right now."

Blowing out a deep breath, Jasper said, "Well, if you must know, you nosy little fairy, I'm at your brother's house."

The squeal on the other end of the line was unmistakably Alice's. My eyes widened. He knew my sister? So is Jasper the one she wanted me to meet? It had to be.

"Um..." Jasper looked at me and asked, "Can I tell her why I'm here?" Nodding my head I let him answer. He was right, she was nosy and she'd find out anyway.

"We uh... we uh..." Jasper's voice got caught in his throat, so I took the phone from him.

"Alice?" I asked through the phone.

"_Yeah, it's me. What the fuck happened?"_ she demanded.

"I kicked James out. Then I saw him later making out with Jasper's boyfriend at a bar. They'd been seeing each other for two months. That's what happened. Need anything else?" I wouldn't say I was pleasant to her, but I wanted to know how the hell Jasper knew my sister.

"_You didn't sleep with Jasper, did you?"_ Alice questioned.

"Sleep with? Yes." I answered, knowing it would get her riled up.

"_What? Why would you do that?"_ she screeched. Shit, that hurt, burst my ear drum, why don't ya?

"Because I can. Besides, I said I slept with him, not that I had sex with him. Those are two very different things, Alice," I told her as if talking to a child. Jasper was trying to cover up a snicker at my words, he wasn't very good at hiding it.

"_I know, but..."_ Alice started before I cut her off.

"Alice, you can talk about that to us later if you want to. It's been a draining couple of days, so just go to class." This wasn't the time to have a drawn out discussion of what happened.

"_Okay, but I expect details later. Bye."_ Then Alice hung up on me without waiting for me to tell her bye back. She was pissed, I could tell. Whatever, I wasn't giving her that much more detail anyway, it wasn't any of her business.

Handing Jasper's phone back to him, I demanded more than asked, "Just exactly how long have you known my sister? Why didn't you tell me?"

Jasper seemed a little taken aback at my brusqueness. "Um... well... um..." It felt good to not be the one squirming under scrutiny this time. "Look, we have some of the same business classes together," he explained. My sister was in business classes? What the fuck for? As far as I knew business would be the farthest thing from anything she'd ever dream of doing.

"What? Alice is taking business classes? How the fuck did that happen?" I wasn't actually looking for him to answer me, just saying the things in my head out loud, but he did.

"She wants to own her own fashion company. I thought you knew," Jasper seemed a bit surprised and amused that he knew more about that than I did.

"The fashion thing seems like her, but her own company? Why the hell would she want to own a company?" I asked more to myself.

Jasper snorted and raised a brow at me, "Why wouldn't she? _You_ own your own company. She looks up to you, you know that, right?" I shook my head no at him. Alice looked up to me? Impossible.

Shaking my head to get back to the question I thought was actually more important I asked again, "You knew I was Alice's brother?"

Sighing at me, he answered, "Yes, Edward, I knew. Do you really think I would have even gotten into your car otherwise? I'm not that dumb. It's not like James always has the best taste in people. I recognized you in the bar from the pictures Alice has shown me."

Man, I felt stupid. I know he knew who I was in the bar, but I just thought it was from James, even though James never introduced me to his family. Odd really, as I knew that this was the person Alice wanted me to meet. _Damn, for someone intelligent it takes you a fucking while to catch on._

"Why didn't you just tell me?" I pressed.

Shrugging at me, he replied, "That didn't seem all that important to me with everything else going on." No, I guess it wasn't.


	6. Chapter 6

**The Cellar Door: Chapter Six**

**AN: **_Still thanks goes to Dilmn8, my pre-reader. If you don't like something or wish I'd written more of something, that is completely my fault, not his._**  
**

_Characters belong to SM_

**EPOV**

Sitting down on the couch I asked, "Do you want to go anywhere today?" For all I knew he had things he'd rather be doing than sitting at a stranger's house.

"No. I hope you don't mind, but I just want to chill out before I have to go back home," he replied sitting next to me. "I have to work tonight, so doing nothing sounds great." Would it be hard for him to go to work dancing for guys after his own cheated on him? _What a dumb question to ask yourself, Edward. Of course it would be._

"Okay." How the hell was I supposed to entertain him? I had no fucking clue. It wasn't like I ever tried that hard with anyone else.

"Why don't we watch the movie we were supposed to watch last night?" he asked, giving me something to do besides sitting in silence and for that I was grateful. Turning the movie on again we laughed and had a great time being together, ignoring reality.

Five o'clock came rushing too fast and I wasn't ready for Jasper to go home. He looked reluctant to leave too, but I wasn't sure if that was because of me or if he just didn't want to face his home without Peter in it.

We got into my car and headed to his apartment. Jasper seemed to get quieter the closer we got, only speaking to give me directions. When we passed by the bar I immediately shuddered and felt sick. There was no way I could go back in there again. Jasper must have noticed because he asked, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, fine," was my simple, not fine answer. Why would I even have that reaction to that place? It wasn't like I loved it before or anything, but I'd already left James, so it made no sense.

Jasper pointed out his apartment complex, it wasn't that far to the bar, which is the reason he didn't drive there I assumed. Showing me where to park Jasper jumped out of the car and ran to an old black truck that seemed to have had a lot of work put into it. He seemed to be looking it over carefully and peered through the window and finally relaxed. "What's up with you?" I asked confused by his behavior.

"I just wanted to make sure no one hurt my truck," he replied.

"Why would they? Did you think Peter would do something to it?" I questioned. Peter didn't seem the type to do that. An ass, yes, but violent or destructive, no. He looked at me as if I'd sprouted two heads.

"I was checking to see that James didn't do anything to my truck," he told me as if talking to an imbecile. Now that one I would believe. James would do something and he was not happy when he saw Jasper and I together this morning. Whatever, that fucker didn't deserve to be with anyone.

Looking over the truck I could tell he'd taken good care of it. "So, is this your baby?" I asked teasing him.

Grinning at me, he retorted, "You know it." Then more seriously he said, "As long as I take care of him, he always loves me."

Chuckling at him, I questioned, "Your truck is a him, not a her?"

Frowning at me, he shot back, "Of course it is. That truck looks nothing like a woman."

Hooting with laughter, I asked, "And how exactly is a truck supposed to look like a guy?"

"There aren't any curves to this truck, for one." His hands slid down the side of the truck and I watched in fascination wishing they were touching me instead. _Damn it, stop going down that train of thought. _Jasper's eyes darkened a bit as he looked me up and down and said, "It has hard angles just like I like my men." Fucking hell, he was trying to kill me. Closing my eyes to hide from his steel blue gaze wasn't the smartest choice as the next thing I felt were his lips on mine. Wrapping one arm around his waist my other hand reached out to weave through his hair. When I tugged on it, his mouth opened and I slipped my tongue inside letting it glide with his. Jasper pressed me between himself and his truck, trapping me there. His own hands were in my hair almost massaging my scalp as he held me in place with his body. No, no, no, this was all wrong, but it felt so right. Pulling away from Jasper, I laid my head on his shoulder and breathed in his scent, attempting to get my breathing to return to normal. Jasper didn't let up though, his lips were on my jaw, my neck, my shoulder, and I had a feeling might have been further down if I didn't stop him.

"Jasper, wait," I pleaded.

"Something wrong, Edward?" he asked me, annoyed that I stopped us once again.

"Yeah, I mean no, I mean... I mean I would love to keep going with this, but we can't," my voice was still breathy.

"Edward, I want you. You do understand that, right?" he questioned, probably thinking I was being a socially awkward idiot again.

"I know that. I want you too, but not like this." For once in my life I bit the bullet and said what I really thought, it's not like it could make this any worse. "Jasper, I want you _so much_, but I refuse to be with you and be a rebound fuck. I want all of you, not just... this." Jasper sighed and stepped away from me. He looked hurt, but I refused to give in. We would either be together as a couple or not at all. There would be no one night stands with him, I just couldn't do it.

Jasper walked away from me without a word and I stood there dumbfounded. Surely he would say _something, _even if I didn't want to hear it. Turning his head in my direction he asked, "You coming?"

Nodding my head at him I followed him to his apartment grateful that he didn't just shove me off. We walked up three flights of stairs before coming to his door and I was glad I'd followed. There was no way I could have seen him from the ground to make sure he got in. Digging under the mat for the key Peter was supposed to leave I watched Jasper as he bent over in front of me. Hmm... I think he did that on purpose, it was a bit too deliberate. When I groaned and Jasper chuckled I knew he did. Deciding I couldn't do nothing I slapped his ass and watched in delight as Jasper dropped the key in surprise. He snatched the key up and turned to look at me with wide eyes. Then he spoke in a dangerous whisper, "Don't do things like that if you have no intention of following through." I looked down chastised and hating myself for doing that to him when I already said no. Hearing laughter my gaze shot up to see Jasper's eyes sparkling at me.

My mouth gaped open before it registered that he was teasing me. Once my mind caught up to it I slapped his ass again. He did have a nice firm ass, and why was my hand still on it? He was still laughing at me waiting for me to do something. Removing my hand from him, I stuttered, "Um... uh... nice ass." That I blurted out at the end and he slapped mine in retaliation.

"You have a nice ass, too," Jasper said still chuckling. Then he leaned forward and whispered, "One day it will be mine." Good god, was he really just a horny bastard? _Right, Edward, as if you aren't as well._

Jasper finally got the door opened and stepped through to turn on the light. His apartment was small and had very little furnishing it, but I hadn't expected any different. Eyes sweeping the living room Jasper took inventory of everything that was left and apparently what was missing. Then he took off in the direction of the other rooms to look over. When Jasper went into his bedroom I stood back giving him his privacy. That was before I heard shouting. "Fuck! You goddamn motherfucker, what the fuck?"

Racing into the room I saw Jasper standing at his dresser throwing things out of it onto the floor. "What's wrong?" I asked wondering what the hell it could be to get him that angry. He didn't answer me, just kept going through his things.

Finally he sat on the floor his head in his hands. "I can't believe it, I can't believe he would take that. He doesn't even want that shit," he talked to himself.

"Who doesn't want what? What did Peter take?" I pushed.

Snorting at me, he replied, "Peter didn't take anything that didn't belong to him, James did."

"So what did James take?" I asked again, unsurprised.

Jasper looked up at me and I could see the sorrow on his face and the pain. "He took my grandfather's war medals, that's what. They belonged to me after he died. They're the only thing of his I have. James got something else claiming he wasn't taking something from people that wouldn't accept him. He only took them to hurt me, like he always does, he doesn't give a shit about that stuff."

Sitting down on the floor beside him, I pulled him closer to me. He didn't cry over it even if I was sure he wanted to, but his body shook in pure rage. He must like me or he would have pushed me away, but he didn't as I stroked his back. I didn't offer meaningless words. James was an asshole. If I saw him again I thought I'd do more than bust his mouth.

Becoming more stiff the longer I sat in the floor I stretched my legs and stood. Jasper still hadn't moved, his jaw was clenched, but that was the only reaction I even saw from him. Bending over I put a hand on his elbow motioning him to get up. He did, but only robotically. Pulling him towards his bed I pushed him down on it and really got a good look at him. He looked even worse than he had after his encounter with James and Peter, angrier.

Could Jasper even work tonight? Should he? I didn't know what his normal emotional state was, but I knew it probably wasn't this. He'd had a rough couple of days made worse since he did care about these people in his life, whereas I hadn't.

Not knowing what else to do and certainly not wanting to be on his bed with him, as that would invite temptation, I began picking up the things he threw onto the floor. I had no idea where any of his shit went, but I could fold them for him. Finally Jasper piped up, "You don't have to do that. I can do it later."

Putting the things to the side I had folded I said, "I wanted to." Looking over him carefully, I asked, "Are you sure you want to go to work tonight?"

He nodded at me. "I need the distraction. The money too, now that no one else is living with me." Okay, that I could understand.

Looking down at my watch I caught sight of the time and decided I should get going. Jasper still needed to get ready for work. "Jasper, I'm going to let myself out now," I told him.

"What? You don't have to leave," he said, surprised.

"I know I don't have to, but I need to. You need to get ready for work. I need to call Alice and tell her what happened so she won't bitch and ask you questions later," I explained, knowing full well she would do it to Jasper as well anyway.

"Okay," he said softly and rose from the bed to see me out. Jasper seemed nervous as I opened the door and fidgeted a bit, it was so unlike what I'd seen of him so far I wondered what was up with him. "Can I call you sometime?" he asked looking down.

"Yeah, why couldn't you?" I asked, bewildered.

"I don't have your number," he answered, explaining the obvious.

When I started laughing he frowned at me. "What is so funny?"

"I was sure Alice would have given you my number herself by now," I replied.

"Erm... she tried. I wouldn't let her though," he said a bit of that spark coming back to him.

Holding out my hand for his phone he removed it from his pocket and handed it to me. Programming it in I then handed him mine so he could do the same. I wasn't normally a phone person to begin with, but even if I saw him all the time I would rather know he was available instead of just showing up unannounced.

Taking my phone back I said, "Bye, Jasper. I'll see you soon, okay?" He nodded his head and told me bye before shutting the door. I hoped I'd get to see him soon, but I didn't know what our schedules were like or if they were compatible.


	7. Chapter 7

**The Cellar Door: Chapter Seven**

**AN: **_Thanks still goes to Dilmn8 for pre-reading this for me. I don't think I had to twist his arm too much though to do it, hehe._**  
**

_Characters belong to SM_

**EPOV**

Back at home it was time to face the wrath of Alice. Calling her, she yelled at me for telling her I slept with Jasper, and then she warned _me_ not to hurt him. What the fuck? I was her brother. Wasn't she supposed to take my side? _"I would if you didn't make stupid choices all the time," _she said haughtily. What a vote of confidence, sis.

"_Why didn't you go see him at work?"_ she asked me entirely too curious for her own good.

"Because I didn't want to. I have to work tomorrow," was my reply to her. That, however, wasn't the real reason. If I saw Jasper dancing with almost no clothes on I knew I would give in to him and we would be fucking before the night was over.

When I finally broke down and told Alice that she laughed at my bluntness and said, _ "Good boy."_ Fortunately she couldn't see me roll my eyes at her.

"Alice, I'm going now. Bye," I said hastily before I hung up.

Now that I was home, my home, with no one in it, I felt lonely. Shaking off the feeling, I picked up shit just for something to do and got ready for bed.

Lying in bed I dreamed of Jasper and no one else and it was heaven and it was torture. I could have him now, I knew I could, but he wouldn't be mine if I did. Patience was something I was going to have to live with for a while apparently. That was something I had very little of, but I would do it.

Over the next few days I was busy working and enduring my employees happiness that I got rid of James. None of them were too happy about what he did, but they were glad he was gone. Their celebratory tone started to get on my nerves. All I wanted was Jasper and even though he asked for my number he hadn't called me once. Maybe the whole thing was imagined and I never met him. When I looked down at my phone though I saw his name there and his number. Perhaps I should call him instead. Not knowing his hours was a pain in the ass though and I called Alice to apologize and ask if she knew what they were. She finally gave in after a fair bit of groveling from me.

Later that night my phone rang, it was Jasper. Picking it up, I asked, "Jasper?" in genuine surprise.

"_Yeah, Edward,"_ he sound tired and groggy. Why was he calling me then?

"You okay?" I asked almost to the point of wanting to show up at his house to see for myself that he was. No, don't be ridiculous. That seems a bit stalker-ish.

"_I'm better now that Alice told me that you asked for my schedule so you could call," _ he replied.

"What? You were waiting on me?" I asked in shock.

"_Yeah. I asked you for your number and I'm the one that kept being rejected, so yeah, I waited," _ he said softly.

"I didn't reject you. Don't believe that for one minute," I said in indignation. How could he think that?

"_I know that, but it still feels that way. Being rejected by two people in one week isn't something I'm used to,"_ he admitted. I held back the snort I knew was coming. Two people in one week? That's a lot of people? The guy was gorgeous, otherwise he'd know what it was like for everyone else.

"_Edward, are you still there?" _ he asked and I realized I hadn't spoken for at least a full minute.

"Yeah, I'm still here." Now I was nervous and had no idea what to say. Trying to come up with anything I finally asked, "Do you want to meet for dinner?"

"_Sure,"_ he sounded as though he was smiling this time and I was happy about that. Arranging where we were to meet I hung up the phone and congratulated myself. This wasn't a date, but it was as close to one that I'd ever been the one to do the asking.

Dinner was wonderful, we had more in common than we thought we did. Choosing to go out again the next day we bid each other farewell. I didn't let him kiss me, that would be like he started dating me right after breaking up with Peter and that wasn't where I wanted to be.

Several weeks went by and we spent some of our mutual spare time together. He was fun and a great person to be around. I got to watch as he slowly came out of his depression. Jasper was even more gorgeous as he did, as the light was restored to his eyes. The light that I knew was there before I'd seen it.

We shared so much about ourselves that I thought even if we hadn't been gay we would have been friends at the very least. He was slowly starting to become my closest friend instead of Seth. Where was Seth? I had no idea. Probably with Jacob by now.

My doorbell rang and I answered the door to stand there in shock at seeing Seth on the other side of the door. I had been expecting Jasper soon, but he wasn't due here yet. "Seth? What are you doing here?" I asked him, puzzled. He usually called before he would just show up.

"Can't I come see my best friend?" he asked me.

Stuttering, I said, "Um... yeah... sure," and stepped back so he could come in. As soon as I shut the door Seth immediately put his hands on my head and kissed me hard, backing into the wall of the foyer. Pushing him back, I asked, "What are you doing?"

Seth chuckled darkly at me and shot back, "What does it look like I'm doing?"

Rolling my eyes at him, I said, "I know what you are doing. Why are you? I didn't exactly invite you here."

"I just needed someone and I know you haven't really been with anyone since James, so I thought why not?" he explained.

"What happened to Jacob? Aren't you guys dating yet?" I asked, more confused than before.

Snorting at me, he said, "I wish. He won't ask me out though."

Smacking him, I questioned his intelligence, "Are you really that dumb? Why don't you ask him out then?"

He gulped heavily and looked away before meeting my gaze again. "I'm nervous."

"Why? Surely you've asked guys out before." I couldn't figure out what was going on with him.

"Yeah, but it's been a long time since I've been with anyone. What if I forgot how to do some stuff?" he said looking down.

Laughter ripped through me before I could stop myself. "So I take it I'm supposed to be practice or something?" I breathed through my laughter.

Giving me an incredulous look, Seth said, "You'd never be practice. I just know you, and it's been a while for both of us. Well, since you enjoyed anything at least." Without giving me a chance to argue with him, he had his body pressed fully against mine and his lips against my neck.

"Shit." I wished he was blond and blue eyed and his hair was curls, not the slick black silk that it was, but my god, I missed being touched. I missed being touched by someone that didn't make me want to kick them in the head.

"Please," Seth murmured against my lips. Nodding at him to continue I lost myself in the sensation of him exploring me. He pulled my shirt over my head before taking a nipple into his mouth. Seth's hands cupped my ass bringing me close to him and his lips captured mine again. I didn't feel the same thing I did when I kissed Jasper, but it felt good.

One of Seth's hands moved between us and palmed me through my jeans and I moaned against his mouth. Kneeling down in front of me, Seth placed kisses along my chest and stomach and even over my dick still in jeans. Unbuckling my belt and unbuttoning my jeans he pulled them down along with my boxer briefs. His hand wrapped itself around my dick while his mouth went to my balls sucking them in. "Fuck..." I breathed. It had been too long since anyone had touched _me _in that way.

Seth's almond eyes looked up at me as he took a long lick up my dick. My hands found themselves in his hair tugging at it, still wishing it was a different texture and color. He placed one hand on my thigh stroking it as he worked up and down my shaft. Leaning my head back against the wall I could close my eyes and imagine it was Jasper doing this to me, that it was the roughness of his tongue I felt along my dick. Seth took more of me in his mouth and stopped, but I was still held in his mouth. Forcing my eyes open I wondered what he was doing and looked down. He was pulling his pants and boxers down so he could touch himself too. Once he had them off I picked up his right hand and licked the palm. Taking his hand back he slid it against his dick and I felt his moan around my dick.

Even though I wanted to close my eyes and just feel what Seth's tongue was doing to me, I wanted to watch him get himself off at the same time. Seth slipped his other hand up my thigh for balance and began sucking me off harder. His tongue swirled around the ridge of the head and made me nearly shout. I know I nearly pulled some of his hair out. By the sounds he was making and I was feeling, it didn't seem as though he minded.

Seth worked harder trying to make me come quickly as his hand continued gliding over his own dick. My stomach tightened for its impending orgasm and I cried out, "Seth, I'm going to come!" His response was to take more of me in and pull back to place more attention at the head of my dick. Releasing myself into his mouth some of my cum stayed on his lips and he licked that off, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. He picked up his pace over his own dick before groaning loudly and letting himself go, cum over his stomach.

Wanting to slide to the floor I almost did just that before I saw a blur of what looked like blond hair in the small window beside my door. Shit! When was Jasper supposed to be here again? Panicked, I ran to the window nearly tripping over my jeans. The only thing I could make out was a black truck leaving in the opposite direction. Fuck!

"What's wrong with you?" Seth asked, hurriedly pulling up his jeans, put out.

"Jasper, he was here. We were supposed to meet. Hell, and he saw... well, I don't know what he saw, but it was enough to make him leave," I explained, running my hands frantically through my hair.

"Edward... don't tell me you let me do this if you are dating Jasper," he chastised.

"No, I mean... no. We aren't dating, but I really like him a lot. I want to be with him, but not as seconds," I said sounding ridiculous even to me.

Seth snorted at me and said, "If his reaction was to get upset and leave, I doubt you are seconds to him. What the fuck, Edward? Why wouldn't you tell me that you were interested in someone else?"

How could he not know? Oh, that's right, I hadn't even seen him since that day at the bar. Alice would going to kill me, didn't she tell me not to fuck things up?

Shaking my head I pulled up my pants and told him, "Go now, please." He only nodded at me and left my house without another word. God, how could I royally fuck things up? I'd thought about having one night stands a few times with people, but... I was too busy, with Jasper, and just plain didn't want to. This though... Jasper knew Seth was my best friend, which was probably worse than being with someone that I didn't know to him. He would see him as a rival and the one that won. I knew he would. Fuck! How could I be so careless?

Jasper didn't show up at my house after that, obviously. He didn't even call to tell me that he wasn't coming, not that I expected him to. Sitting down on my couch I quickly shot up, that wasn't the thing to do. Putting on running clothes I took off and tried to get my frustration out. Why did Seth have to come today? Why didn't I just say no? Why didn't I just tell Jasper that I wanted him with me before now and save myself this trouble? Damn it. God, I was always letting people I don't want do things when I should tell them no, and the one and only person I want I kept telling no. What the fuck is wrong with me?

**AN:**_ Edward was a very bad boy here, hehe. If any of you know OCDJen you know he'd have to fuck this up somehow. As it was written for her, it was coming. Come on, throw tomatoes at me, I dare you. But no murdering me or you'll never get the ending.  
_


	8. Chapter 8

**The Cellar Door: Chapter Eight**

**AN: **_I'm grinning evilly over here. I may just have to start being evil all the time after you guys reaction, haha. It's not really my style though, it is Jen's, however. Anyway, have a little more faith in me._

_Again, thanks to Dilmn8 for pre-reading for me. He told me he really hated Seth after that last chapter and boys are stupid, HAHAHA. Yeah, as if he isn't a boy himself._**  
**

_Characters belong to SM_

**EPOV**

Furious with myself, I went on a tear at work. I fully expected half my employees to walk out on me by the end of the day. What I didn't expect were the looks of pity on their faces, which, by the way, made me even more pissed off. I suppose I should be grateful that they didn't get angry with me right back. Well no, that's not true. Most of them didn't. Maria, however, narrowed her eyes at me and closed the door to my office, cornering me. "What is wrong with you?" she hissed in a low tone.

Shrugging at her, I replied, "Nothing."

Crossing her arms under her breasts, she said, "Don't give me that shit. Something is going on with you and I don't really care what it is, but you have got to get it together. Unless you actually want everyone to quit on you at once."

Frustrated, I sighed and said, "No, that's not what I want."

Maria spoke softly, "Then go home. Whatever it is, just go home and deal with it or learn to deal with it. You aren't doing anyone any favors by being here, not even if you are the boss."

That actually sparked a bit more anger and I shot back, "You're right, I am the boss. Therefore, you can't tell me what to do."

Maria slapped her hand on the desk and leaned forward, retorting, "No, I'm not the boss, but you go home. I'm only trying to save your sorry ass. This is damage control." She didn't say, but I know the end of her sentence was probably something ending in idiot or worse. "Get out of here," she seethed.

Sometimes I think Maria is the boss, not me. I guess she is, that's what I hired her for anyway. I design software, managing a company is not really something I ever wanted to do.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get out of here and don't come back until you can not scare everyone away," she commanded.

My day didn't get any better after that. At first I didn't go home, it reminded me too much of everything that happened and I mean everything. My relationship with James and how horrible it had been, my friendship and whatever else was going on with Jasper, my fucked up mess with Seth that I will assume by now Jasper saw. Invariably, my mind decided it will still torture itself, even if I wasn't at home. I drove past The Cellar Door, because I wanted to remember bad memories and the day that Jasper and I first met. Then I wanted to kick both Jacob and Seth's ass for being too chicken shit to be together and saving me this trouble in the first damn place. _Yeah, Edward, because you weren't there at all. _I wasn't there, my dick was, but my other head wasn't thinking.

Driving by Jasper's apartment I contemplated trying to talk to him in person, but his truck wasn't there. He was probably at school. Fuck. Alice was at school. Now I knew I'd be in trouble when she got home. I was right.

Knowing it was coming still didn't prepare me for what to say to her. I didn't know what Jasper would or wouldn't have told her. By the time I had to face Alice, I believe I'd gone through four beers. That made me sad, the last time I'd drunk any was with Jasper the day we met. Wallowing in my sorrow I laid down on the couch to ignore the world and everything in it and my fucked up way of dealing with it.

The front door banged open as my eyes were starting to droop closed and Alice was yelling, "What the fuck did you do?" Shit, I must have left the front door unlocked, so unlike me.

Alice stomped over to me and pulled me up by my shirt. For such a tiny thing she was stronger than she looked. Blinking at her, I tried to get words to form, but they got stuck in my throat. After her relentless glare I finally squeaked out, "I fucked up."

"No kidding. Didn't I tell you not to screw shit up? And that's exactly what you've done," she said in exasperation, throwing her hands in the air. "The kicker is I don't even know what you did, or how mad I should be."

Surprised, I questioned, "You don't?"

"Of course not. I saw Jasper at school and he looked miserable. He never did tell me what happened, but I knew it was something to do with you and seeing you like this confirms it," Alice huffed. "So what the fuck did you do?"

Opening my mouth to speak I quickly shut it. What was I supposed to tell her? The truth? It was hardly any of her business. "Alice... I don't think you need to know that."

Rolling her eyes at me, she said, "I don't want details, you idiot. Just tell me what happened in general."

Breathing heavily, I wasn't sure she even wanted the skimmed over version, but I gave it to her. "Um... Seth came over. He... well he... he gave me a blow job." She crossed her arms and gave a soft growl to that. Shaking my head at her, I tried to tell her the rest. "Jasper was supposed to come over and I think he saw, through the window. I'm not sure what all he saw because he left and didn't come back." My eyes started to fill with tears, god damn it. "How do I get him back now?" I pleaded.

Alice shrugged at me, she was angry. "Don't expect me to help you clean up this mess. I told you not to hurt him and here you are. Fuck, and I really thought you two liked each other."

"I do like him. I just... made a mistake..." A horrible mistake I will always regret.

"I can't help you fix this. I don't know how, or even that I want to. That's the last thing Jasper needed to see right now. Right now I'm sure he thinks you and Seth are together, even if I know better," she added sagely. Fucking hell. "See you around, Edward. Oh, and try being a man for once," she threw back at me then Alice walked out the door.

Thinking I needed to apologize in person I went to his apartment a few times. He was never there. The only helpful thing Alice told me was that he had to work more now that he lived alone. Trying his phone I realized he'd either had it cut off or changed his number. I thought that was a little extreme just because of what I'd done.

Deciding the only way I was going to get to apologize was to track him down at work I made my way to the club he worked in. I didn't bother trying to dress up or anything, I thought that would look really desperate. Even if Jasper didn't want me anymore I still wanted his friendship back, I missed it.

Finding the club wasn't difficult. Jasper had shown it to me a few times, but I'd never been there myself. Walking in I could feel the beat of the music through my feet, pulsing through my body. My heart echoed the bass resounding from the walls. The music was designed to make your entire body beat to it. Looking around I noticed how crowded it was. That was the reason I had never been here. Crowds and me don't mix. The place smelled like alcohol and sweat. The boys dancing here were better looking than the ones at The Cellar Door, but I was beginning to feel claustrophobic. Searching desperately for the person I came to see, I looked at the cages. There, my eyes landed on him. He was still gorgeous, maybe even more so because I missed him.

Jasper's body swayed to the music and he smiled and flirted at everyone near him. His body was toned and in nothing but skimpy underwear, his skin was slick with sweat or oil, maybe both. My heart felt like someone had a fist around it, squeezing. Intense flirting was definitely giving him more attention as he had more bills than anyone else dancing. Was he always like that? Alice said he had to work more, so I wondered if this was his way of getting more money.

Edging closer to his cage I noticed someone I very much didn't want to see sidle up next to it. Peter stood there looking as though he wanted Jasper back. No fucking way! This is exactly what I was afraid of. When Jasper caught sight of him he faltered in his dancing before getting back to it and ignoring Peter completely. Peter just stood there, waiting patiently. I was never going to compete with that, never. My breathing quickened and all I heard was whooshing in my ears, unable to hear the music anymore. Jasper's eyes locked on mine and he seemed surprised to see me there, then a little angry. He eventually turned away from me as well, and flirted outrageously with a few of the people near him.

Begging my feet to turn around and walk away they refused to cooperate. I don't know how long I stood there turned to stone, but Jasper stepped out of his cage and narrowed his eyes at both Peter and I. "Is there a reason you are here, Edward?" Jasper hissed at me first.

"Yeah." Plucking up courage, I said, "I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry for what happened, what you saw. I miss you."

Nodding his head at me, he said, "I miss you, too, but right now I just can't deal with it. I mean I know we weren't together or anything, but I got the impression we would be eventually. That was just as bad as seeing Peter kissing James."

My throat made a choking sound, I was heartbroken and it was my own damn fault. I never meant to cause him more pain. "Can we still be friends?" I asked, still hopeful. It was less than I wanted, but more than I deserved.

Shaking his head at me, he answered, "You've got to give me time, Edward." Then giving me a troubled look he questioned, "Wouldn't Seth be upset that you were here?"

"What?" Fuck, he did think Seth and I were together. "No, he wouldn't be. We aren't together, Jasper. We never have been. He was actually quite pissed at me over not telling him how much I like you."

Jasper scoffed at me as though he didn't believe it. "Edward, I know I've wanted you more than you want me. Maybe it's my fault for pushing so much." Then he looked down and away.

"No, it isn't. I still want you, but I can't have you anymore. Even an idiot like me gets that," I said sadly.

Jasper's head shot up and he snapped, "What?"

My head tilted towards Peter who was still standing there biding his time until I was gone. Jasper's eyes roved over to him and he winced. "I don't want Peter anymore," he said so softly no one around us could hear. "The only person I've even been thinking about lately is you. I just... need more time." This made me both happy and sad.

Deciding maybe we needed to start over I asked, "Can I have your new number?" Jasper shook his head no and glanced to where Peter was standing. Well, at least I knew where I stood. Turning around I walked away from him, hurt. Faintly I heard my name being called, but didn't stop to listen anymore. Jasper said he wanted me, still. He needed more time. Well, I could give him more time. He wouldn't give me his number... at least he knew where I lived if he ever came back to me. I wondered if I was already too late though. It looked as though Peter and James broke up, and Peter wanted Jasper back. Jasper and Peter had been together a long time, I doubted he'd throw that away for me, no matter what he said. Getting out of the club as fast as I could I rushed to my car, trying to fend off the people hitting on me. That certainly wouldn't get Jasper to come back to me, if I went home with someone else now. I wasn't about to do anything else to fuck this up again, until I knew for sure he was with Peter. It was coming, I felt it. I was socially awkward and not as beautiful as Peter was, so it was only a matter of time before Jasper realized this too. Maybe he'd tell both of us no, it'd serve us right. Peter for cheating and me for... well, that wasn't cheating, but it might as well have been.


	9. Chapter 9

**The Cellar Door: Chapter Nine**

**AN: **_Thanks to Dilmn8 for pre-reading this for me. :)__ Argh, I really hate how ffn doesn't allow for real breaks between scenes._

_I find it amazing how most of your views vary on what happened. Some say no forgiveness, some tell me that he shouldn't have anything to be forgiven for. *sigh* I at least hope you will agree on this chapter.__ Then again maybe not, at least if I get some arguing then I know you care._**  
**

_Characters belong to SM_

**EPOV**

More weeks passed with no word from Jasper. The ache of missing him only got worse, not better, with time. Moping around was not helping me any, even I didn't want to be friends with me or in the same vicinity.

The only good thing that came out of this was spending more time with Seth. We were both miserable together. Nice, that. So imagine my surprise when I opened the door one day to find both Seth and Jacob on my doorstep. Seth was grinning from ear to ear, and Jacob looked at me with narrowed eyes, his arm around Seth's waist possessively. I thought if he could he would turn me into some small creature and stomp on me, killing me dead. Whatever, he wasn't my friend anyway. Besides, it was me that told Seth to man up. Now if I could just do the same thing.

"You'll never guess what," Seth said almost bouncing.

Raising a brow at him, I shot back, "You two are _finally_ together."

"Well, yeah, but that's not what I came over here for," Seth said looking smug.

"Then why are you here?" I snapped at him. I was in no mood for games.

"I wanted to thank you," Seth said and I frowned.

"What the hell for?" I asked. We'd only made a mess out of each others love lives as far as I could tell.

"For telling me to ask Jacob out myself. And I wanted to apologize for messing things up with you and that one guy." Seth knew by now not to say his name, it was too painful.

"Okay, thanks. Bye," I said nonchalantly, attempting to close the door. I didn't want to talk about any of this.

Seth put his foot in the doorway so I couldn't shut it. I seriously considered slamming the door on it to get him out of the way. "No, you don't. I have something to give you." Seeing the surprised look on my face he held out a piece of paper with an address. "That's James' new address."

"Seth, what the fuck am I supposed to do with that?" I questioned him in bewilderment.

"I don't know. I thought you'd figure it out. I'm only half responsible for what happened and that's my way of making it up to you. The rest is up to you. You decide if you want that guy back and do whatever it is you have to do to get it," he explained. I was dumbfounded. I knew the guy he meant wasn't James, but Jasper.

They left me standing there with a piece of paper in my hands and not a clue as to what to do with it. Alice would be no help. This, whatever I did, should be more personal than that anyway. If I wanted Jasper back in any way, I'd have to prove it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ExJ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All the stress and worry and not taking care of myself had finally caught up to me and I was sick. Fuck. No, I wasn't slightly sick. I was extremely sick and had to call Maria to tell her I wasn't coming in, probably not for the entire week. She just told me to get better and not to worry about work, it'd still be there when I got well. Great.

The entire week was full of fever induced sleep and almost hallucinations. Imagining Jasper here with me, and happy was almost too much for me to handle. God, that was depressing. I couldn't very well plan out how to get Jasper to let me back in his life when my head was, for the most part, discombobulated. Moaning on the couch or in bed was ridiculous, no one was here to hear it, or care, yet I did it anyway.

Sometime near the end of the week, as I was starting to slowly come out of fevered near comas, the idea of what I could use James address for sprang at me. It became sharper, more focused as I got better and I knew what I should do. Even if Jasper never spoke to me again, he deserved this.

Getting better was my first priority. Facing James couldn't be done when I was only at half my best. So, I waited at least another week before confronting him at his new apartment. The place was decrepit and shabby looking, not a surprise.

Knocking on the door I waited impatiently for him to open up. As the door slid open I was faced with a very disheveled and drunk James. He looked... terrible. Inside I did a little vindictive happy dance. James' mouth hung open in shock as he looked at me. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he demanded when he recovered.

Deciding it would be easier to just be blunt instead of dancing around the issue, I asked point blank, "Do you have the medals that belong to Jasper?"

His eyes narrowed at me, and he retaliated, "What the fuck is it to you? They belonged to my grandfather, too."

Glaring at him, I had no time to argue with a drunk and pushed, "Yes, but they aren't yours, they're his. According to Jasper, you never wanted them in the first place. You only took them to spite him. Now, be a good boy and hand them over." I almost snorted to myself, when had James ever been a good boy?

"Fuck you," he shouted and began to slam the door in my face. He was too drunk to fight me off if that's what he was looking for, so I pushed back and stepped inside his apartment instead.

"Fine, if you won't hand it over willingly I'll look for it myself," I said as I began searching through his things.

The next words out of James' mouth shocked me to no end. "You really like Jasper, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. Now help me find them," I commanded. He just stood there, swaying.

James threw his arm holding a beer bottle out, his eyes bleary and whined, "I don't have anyone. No one loves me anymore." Then he sat down on the floor with a thud, barely managing to stay upright and that's when I noticed all the bottles strewn out across the carpet.

"Yeah well, you should have thought of that before you decided to screw everyone over," I remarked snidely.

He didn't even acknowledge hearing me. "Peter left me. He figured out I wasn't good anymore when I wasn't trying to take him away from Jasper. Jasper hates my guts, he'll never speak to me again. I'm his brother, his twin brother. Aren't you supposed to love your blood, no matter what? And Edward... well, I had him first and now Jasper has him and I have no one, again." James just rambled on and on and kept rambling like that for a long time as I continued my search.

"Edward, will you take me back? I promise I'll be good this time. Jasper can't have you, he can't. He always gets everything, it's my turn now," he ground out, coming close behind me. God, he reeked of stale beer and sweat. The guy really needed a shower.

Leading James to the couch I made him sit down, mostly so he wouldn't fall over and cut himself on all the glass lying around. I wanted to get the fuck out of here, not have to patch him because he needed stitches or some shit. "James, you and I will never be together again. I'm sorry, but you need to grow up and find someone all on your own and leave your brother and his relationships alone. Besides, Jasper and I aren't together, we never were and I'm pretty sure right now he hates me," I explained.

James chuckled at me and said darkly, "He doesn't hate you, he hates me. Did you know he changed his phone number because I kept trying to get my brother back? Either that, or because Peter kept calling to beg him to take him back while he was still living with me. How fucked up is that?" he asked me rhetorically. This explanation of Jasper not having a phone actually made me feel relief for the fact that he didn't give me the number when Peter was standing right there.

Increasingly tired of his drunk talking I finally snapped, "Where the fuck are the medals, James?"

He waved me to a desk in the corner, and I opened the drawers until I found what I was looking for. It was a flat wooden box that I opened to see various medals laid out against the velvet background. "Maybe if Jasper has you and he's happy, he'll take me back," James mumbled almost incoherently before passing out.

Taking the medals I walked out of the apartment and hoped he didn't remember any of this when he woke up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ExJ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Writing a short, simple note I placed it inside the box. All it said was _'I thought you should have this back.' _Jasper knew what my handwriting looked like by now, so he ought to know who it was from. There would be no begging for him to talk to me, to weasel my way back into his life. He should get those medals back regardless of what either of us did.

Making my way up the three flights of stairs to his apartment I carefully placed the box on the ground and knocked on the door. Jasper was probably home, I knew, as I saw his black truck in the parking lot. However, I wasn't going to stand there so he could see me through the peephole and refuse to answer the door. It wouldn't be the first time he didn't answer the door when I knew he was home. Quietly I went down to the side and down a few steps, just so I could make sure he did at least answer the door and get the box without having to face me.

From my hiding place I heard the door's hinges creak open. There was a sort of shuffle and a small gasp that came from Jasper's mouth. The sound made me wish again I hadn't messed things up.

Well, at least I knew he got it. Now it was my turn to run down the stairs as fast as possible, without either falling flat on my face or tumbling down the stairs. Reaching my car door I opened it and was about to get in when I saw Jasper close to me, holding the box in his hand. My heart beat loudly in my ears and I wanted nothing more than to get out of there, away from him. What the fuck was wrong with me? Oh, that's right, he was still as gorgeous as ever and I wanted him, but couldn't have him. Seeing him wasn't easier, it was harder.

"Edward, wait," Jasper called after me. Hesitating to get in my car I just stood there. I had no idea what to say to him. Jasper's steel blue eyes burned with fire as he looked at me. Whether it was a good or bad fire though... I waited, holding my breath. "Thank you. It means a lot that you did this," he said softly, and I exhaled.

Nervously I said, "You're welcome." We seemed to stand there forever, neither of us speaking and I began fidgeting. "Um... bye?" I know I meant that to be the end of our conversation and me to drive away, I hated being uncomfortable. Jasper wouldn't let me go yet, though.

"Edward, I..." Jasper placed his hand on my cheek and I unconsciously nuzzled into it. "Can... can we start over? I miss you more than I ever thought I would." My throat constricted at his words and I struggled to say anything in return.

Finally swallowing past the lump in my throat, I answered, "Yes." It was the only sound I could get out.

After that Jasper didn't touch me again. We became friends again and it flowed just as easily before, but the underlying sexual tension remained. Neither one of us acted on it though, as our fear both kept us from doing anything we'd regret, again. This was somehow better and worse than him not talking to me at all. I worried that I might have inadvertently firmly implanted myself in the 'friends only' category.


	10. Chapter 10

**The Cellar Door: Chapter Ten**

**AN: **_Thanks goes to Dilmn8 for pre-reading for me. :)__ Today is his birthday. Happy Birthday, Dillon!_

_A bit of time has passed between the end of the last chapter and the beginning of this one, about a month or so._**  
**

_Characters belong to SM_

**EPOV**

Jasper asked me to meet him after work tonight, but he never told me why. Waiting until it was nearing the end of his shift I made my way to the club. Watching him while others threw themselves at him and he flirted back was more than I could handle. Hanging around after much of the crowd left for Jasper, someone asked, "Can I help you?"

"No, I'm just waiting on Jasper," I replied, barely looking at the guy.

Hearing him chuckle I glanced at him and he told me, "Good luck with that, you and half the other guys here are wasting your time. Jasper never goes home with anyone." Relief filled me at that and I grinned, but he shook his head in disbelief.

"Jasper is leaving with me," I told him, confident. Unmoving from my place I waited until Jasper greeted me, dressed.

The smile Jasper gave me lit up his face and the light I so desperately wanted to see in his eyes flashed for a brief moment. "Hey Edward, are you ready to go?" he asked me while at the same time kissing my cheek and grasping my hand. To say I was shocked would be an understatement.

Jasper was definitely playing with me, the guy that told me Jasper never leaves with anyone, and the rest of the people hanging around hoping he'd take them home. Well, two could play at that game. Intertwining my fingers with his, I pressed my body close to his and whispered, "You cocky fucker," before nipping his ear. He only gave me a pleasant smile and tugged me out of the door while the hangers on watched with mouths agape.

When we got to his truck Jasper let go of my hand and I missed the warmth or the fact that he was even touching me at all. It had been so long since he'd done so, I thought he might be losing interest. "Get in," he commanded, as I was still standing there motionless.

Sliding into the passenger seat I asked, "Why are we meeting after your work? Aren't you tired?"

"Yes, I'm tired, but this is when it is, so... tonight, well, this morning is when I asked you to meet," he explained without really explaining at all. Was I supposed to understand any of what he just said? Figuring I'd know eventually I let it drop.

"Jasper, is there a reason you don't take people home after work?" I asked him curiously.

"What? Who told you that? Of course I take people home. I'm taking you home. Well, eventually," Jasper answered in confusion at first ending in a smirk.

Rolling my eyes at him, I said, "That's not what I meant. The guy at the club said you don't take people home."

"Oh, you mean one of the fan-boys?" he asked to clarify.

"Yeah, one of them." He was driving me crazy, just answer the damn question.

"Edward, do you want me to pick one up every night or something?" he asked me, teasing, and I thought I was about to smack him. "That could be arranged, easily."

Growling low at him, both in annoyance and frustration, he finally relented. "Okay, okay. Why? Well... I was with P... Peter for a couple of years, so unlike him, I wasn't about to cheat." Okay, maybe I didn't want to know the answer to this. "Then I met you... and even after you, if I'd wanted to take someone home, it would not have been one of them."

"Why?" I asked because I just wanted to torture myself some more. Hmm... maybe I just like enduring pain.

"I'm not about to ruin one of their fantasies about me. I doubt I could live up to it and even if I did, and took one home for one night, then what? I take another one home and so on until it ends in cat fights..." When he said cat fights I held back a snicker. There would be some, some gay guys were drama _queens. _Happily I wasn't one of them, or at least not that bad. I still hadn't forgotten Jasper saying he liked men that acted and looked like men. "... and I don't get paid as much anymore? I'm not that stupid, I know how it works," Jasper explained.

Under my breath, I mumbled, "I doubt you'd disappoint anyone." God, I wanted him so much. He couldn't disappoint me.

"What was that?" Jasper asked glancing at me.

"Nothing, it was nothing..." I replied and turned to look out the window.

Because I just couldn't let it go and I was curious, I asked, "So... you don't take people home from work, but I take it you take other people home?" Surely he did from his reasoning.

Chuckling at me, Jasper said, "I'm not a monk, Edward. I've been with other people." Someone hit me, why did I ask?

Swallowing hard, I asked, "Were you with someone after Peter?" It was likely that he was, especially when I know he wanted me and I kept telling him no. Jasper's face became a hard mask and his jaw clenched. "You were, weren't you?" He nodded his head without saying a word.

More angry and upset than I thought I would be I yelled at him, "Pull over and let me out right fucking now." How could he act like he did over Seth if he was with someone else himself? I needed to hit something and he'd better let me out now before I beat up his pretty truck.

"Edward, I am not pulling over. There is nowhere for you to go here," Jasper stated quietly. Fuck, he was right. Jasper had driven for a long time until we were out of the city completely. What the fuck were we doing all the way out here?

Clenching my fists tightly to keep from doing something stupid I turned away from Jasper. It was quiet for a long time, the tension thick and palpable before Jasper spoke up. "I... I saw Seth... with you... that day. I thought you would never want me, so I found someone else. You were right not to be with me, you would have been a rebound fuck and it would not have ended well." Snorting to myself I thought _'This is better? It didn't end well _and_ we hadn't fucked.'_ At least that guy got something out of it. Good grief, sometimes I think I should not be allowed to think.

Calming myself down, I took a few deep breaths. He was with someone after he thought nothing would happen with me. He was with someone after he thought nothing would happen with me. He was with someone after he thought nothing would happen with me. My mantra repeated in my head. I couldn't blame him, I was the idiot here.

Taking a chance I looked at him again. He was chewing on his bottom lip, glancing at me every so often, worried. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions," I apologized. Jasper let out a breath he'd been holding as well. We eventually talked about less serious things, and things became less strained as the conversation continued, thank god.

Parking his truck on a flat expanse of land I wondered again what we were doing. We could easily disappear here in the middle of nowhere and no one would have a fucking clue. Jasper got out of the truck and motioned me to follow before he hopped in the bed of it gracefully. Getting into the bed of the truck was more tricky for me, but I managed it, with Jasper's help. Jasper sat down first and he pulled me down beside him. "Uh, Jasper, what exactly are we doing out here?" I asked him, puzzled.

"Look up," Jasper answered instead of explaining. My eyes lifted to the sky and I could see the clear sky, the stars and the... meteor shower? Yes, that's exactly what it was. There were shooting stars almost every minute.

Turning my head to look at Jasper, I watched him, he seemed to be enraptured by the shower. "Do you do this a lot?" I asked him in a near whisper, not wanting to interrupt his contentment.

"Yeah, it's one of the reasons I own a truck actually. This always makes me feel at peace," he answered softly. Settling back, my eyes wandered back up to the night sky to watch the meteor shower with him. He was right, it was peaceful. This was the most peace I'd had in a long time. I tried to remain still and silent throughout, but it was difficult. All I really wanted to do was pull Jasper down with me and show him how much I appreciated him sharing something like that with me. Eventually I couldn't take much more of that and had to touch him. My hand reached out and took his, but he removed it and I sighed in disappointment. Jasper, however, shifted and put his arm around me, I could feel the hand that had been in mine on my shoulder. His other hand picked up the one that had been in his and held on tight. Leaning my head on his shoulder we both watched as the sky began to lighten and the sun came up. It was beautiful, to see night and day, and romantic and absolutely not something I would have ever come up with to do.

Cramped and stiff we both got out of the bed and back into the cab of the truck. Jasper drove me back to my car and I noticed just how tired he looked, his eyes were barely staying open. He kissed me softly and we said our goodbyes. A thrill went through me knowing that our relationship had shifted in the direction I wanted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ExJ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why didn't you tell me your birthday was coming up?" Jasper asked me one day when we went to dinner together.

"What?" I nearly choked on my food, I'd completely forgotten it was anywhere near my birthday.

"Your birthday. We are friends, right?" he asked me. Yes, still just friends, damn it. Nothing had ever progressed after that night looking at the meteor shower. All those falling stars led me to make useless wishes that never came true.

"Of course we are, I guess I just forgot about it," I replied. "Alice told you, didn't she?"

He nodded his head in answer. This was Alice's way of meddling and hopefully getting us together, I'd bet money on it. She was ecstatic that Jasper had finally forgiven me and threatened to cut off my balls if I ever did something like that again. It finally occurred to me that Jasper was speaking to me and I hadn't heard a word of it. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if you were doing anything for it," he stated.

"Oh, no. Not that I know of anyway. Alice usually takes over, so I don't get a say in anything anyway," I told him. Jasper looked thoughtful for a moment then went back to his food. Fuck, now I know he was going to get involved in whatever Alice did or didn't do. She always made a fuss, and drew attention to me, right where I didn't want it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ExJ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the day of my birthday drew near I began to dread it. Once it was finally here I had no choice but to accept whatever Alice had in store for me, as always.

Showing up unannounced Alice flounced into my living room as soon as I opened the door. She looked like she was up to something, more than she normally did. "Happy Birthday, Edward!" she exclaimed excitedly and hugged me. "This one will be the best one you've ever had," Alice pronounced happily.

"If you say so..." I still wasn't convinced.

"Turn around," she commanded.

"What? Why?" She rolled her eyes at me in answer and turned me around herself. The next thing I felt was a silk scarf cover my eyes. Great, a surprise party, just what I always wanted. As in I never, ever wanted one. Knowing better than to argue with little miss sunshine I did as she bid me and let her lead me to her car.

When we got to where we were going she took the blindfold off and I blinked to adjust my eyes. No fucking way! "Alice, what the fuck are we doing here?" I hissed at her.

She only grinned at me and said, "You'll see." We were at the very last place on earth I ever wanted to be, The Cellar Door.

Alice walked behind me, almost prodding me to move forward. My feet seemed to get heavier the closer I got to the door. Once inside, Alice bullied her way through the crowd enduring a few gropes and licks up the neck; which I think she enjoyed, no matter that she pretended not to.

Opening the door to the courtyard Alice pulled me alongside her. We eventually stopped, but I didn't look around. This was a memory I'd rather forget. Looking at my feet I noticed another pair close to me and a hand on my chin tilted my head up. Jasper stood there with a perfectly crooked smile, white, straight teeth, and pensive steel blue eyes. "Why here?" I asked knowing it was his idea to come here, not Alice's.

Jasper's hand moved to thread through my hair. "This is where we first met, and even though that wasn't a good memory for either of us, I wanted to change that," he explained.

His eyes searched mine before he leaned in and whispered, "Tell me you want me."

Taking a shuddering breath, I breathed, "I want you." Then our lips were touching and I had no idea who moved first, it wasn't important. Jasper's lips were fuller than I remembered and I just had to suck on them. My fingers fumbled with the hem of his shirt, wanting him right now.

Jasper's hands clamped down over my wrists preventing me from removing his shirt, damn it. Parting from him, I looked at him in confusion. Isn't this what he wanted? What we'd been heading towards.

Jasper's arms wrapped around my waist pulling me close. "Not here," he said, softly kissing my neck. Understanding I pulled away and did my best to at least spend a bit of time with Alice and the others she invited. Honestly, I couldn't tell you who was there or what was said, my attention was mostly on Jasper. I was sure Seth was there and Jacob was scowling at me, but I thought I saw Jasper scowl at Seth just as often.

"Okay, I think we've spent enough time here without being rude. Can we go now?" I begged Jasper, making sure he felt my ass against his crotch. If we didn't leave soon I was going to let him fuck me right here in front of everyone. Honestly, I didn't care by this time, and I was sure others around us would have enjoyed the show. This crowd of people normally didn't get to see guys as good looking as us fuck in real life, only in porn, of that I was absolutely certain. Alice, though, was my sister and I doubted she'd ever want to see me doing that, even if she didn't mind about anyone else. We had to get out of here and soon.

He chuckled at me and called out, "Bye," before taking my hand and leading me to his truck.

"Your house or mine?" he asked me.

Thinking about it for a minute, I answered, "Mine." If we were doing where we met, then my house seemed like the logical choice, but this time Jasper would be in my bed, not on my couch. I would make sure of it.

Parking his truck in my driveway Jasper hopped out and nearly sprinted to my side of the door to open it for me. I laughed at him, he frowned at me. "Don't be mean, Edward. I'm trying to be nice here."

Getting my laughter under control, I said, "I'm sorry. It's just people don't open doors for me."

Jasper narrowed his eyes at me and mumbled, "Then you haven't met very many nice people." No, if I had, it had been a while.

**AN:**_ Yep, I really did cockblock you. Until next time, my lovlies._


	11. Chapter 11

**The Cellar Door: Chapter Eleven**

**AN: **_And what most have you have been waiting for... I hope it doesn't disappoint. If you don't want to read lemons then skip this chapter completely. However, I think most of my readers are pervs, so here you go. Thanks still to Dilmn8 for being so kind to pre-read for me. I'm sure the fact that it was for Jen helped. :)  
_

_Characters belong to SM_

**EPOV**

Getting out of the truck I ended up not even an inch away from Jasper. He pulled me flush with him and shut the passenger door pressing my back into it. Our lips melded together and I wanted nothing more than to have him inside me. Pushing his head back I asked him, "Jasper, how far do you want this to go?"

"Edward, I've wanted you for a long time, you're the one that stopped us before. I only want to do whatever you're comfortable with."

Coming to a decision, I said, "Take me to bed." Asking him to make love to me seemed a bit much. Did I love him? Yes. I'd known that for a long time, unsure of when exactly I came to that conclusion. Did he love me though? No idea. The only thing I knew was that he still wanted me.

Jasper took in a sharp breath. "Are you saying what I think you are?"

Kissing his neck my lips made their way to his ear and I breathed, "I want you to fuck me." Jasper groaned. If we stood out here any longer we wouldn't make it to my bed or even inside my house. My neighbors tongues would wag if they caught us, not that I cared.

Pushing him back away from me a little we made our way to the front door, stumbling along the way. After my fourth attempt at putting the key in the door Jasper put his hand over my wrist. I hadn't realized that my hands were shaking until he did it. Wow, I was nervous. Time made me over think this instead of just going with the flow. Jasper took my key and inserted it into the keyhole, unlocking the door. "Edward, I hope you're a bottom," Jasper said at the same time. Why was he even asking, didn't I say I wanted him to fuck_ me_? Giving him a baffled look, he continued, "If you can't even get a key in the door, I don't even want to know how you'd get a dick inside anything." What the fuck?

Offended I narrowed my eyes at him and stood there on the porch without stepping over the threshold. Jasper bit his lip until he couldn't take it anymore before he burst out laughing. Oh, he was teasing me and I didn't get it. "Are you trying to kill the mood?" I huffed, still offended.

Jasper grinned wider and said, "No, I wasn't, but I wanted you to stop being nervous and shaky." Looking down at my calm hands I was shocked. Well, shit, that actually worked. At the shocked expression on my face Jasper laughed harder. His laughter was infectious and I couldn't help laughing too.

Stepping into the house I turned and closed the door after Jasper followed. Feeling warm breath on my neck I leaned back into Jasper. His arms encircled my waist and I could still feel his chest moving against my back as he tried to get his laughter under control. Bringing my hand up I weaved my fingers in his curls and turned my head. My lips pressed against his as I tried to kiss him, he was still fighting off laughter though, so his lips were tight. This was not going to work if he couldn't stop.

Using my other hand I reached between us and touched his dick through his pants. Deliberately unzipping them I pushed my hand inside them to stroke him until he groaned. That did it, that got the grin off his face. His full lips felt good between my teeth as I nibbled on them. Taking my hand away from his dick I placed it on his ass squeezing it, unashamed this time. Jasper held on to my waist tighter, bringing my body flush with his. Feeling his hard dick against my ass it was my turn to groan and I let Jasper's lips go.

He kissed my neck and let my waist go so he could move my arms away from him. Why? Did he change his mind? Looking at the floor I couldn't bring myself to turn around and face him. "Edward, turn around," Jasper commanded. Shaking my head no at his rejection he squeezed himself between me and the door. Keeping my head down I could see he was still hard, but that didn't mean anything. Unlike me, he might actually be able to tell me no this time. "Look at me," Jasper demanded. No, I wouldn't look at him, I could feel my face heating up. Of course now would be the time he wouldn't want me. Fuck my stupid life.

Jasper gave a huge exasperated sigh and tilted my chin up. He was wearing a frown and his eyes looked worried. "You still want me, don't you?" he asked, chewing his lip. What? Of course I did. He was the one that didn't want me.

Sighing, I laid my head against his shoulder to hide how embarrassed I was. "I will never stop wanting you," I mumbled into his chest, more to myself than in answer. He must have still heard me anyway.

"That's all I needed to know," he murmured somewhere above my head. "Stop thinking and just feel." Not thinking is usually when I got myself into trouble, so of course I was going to over think everything.

"I don't know how..." I trailed off.

Jasper's arms wrapped around my waist again and I looked up into burning steel blue eyes. His hands slid down to my ass and pulled me even closer to him. The next thing I knew hands were on my thighs and I was being lifted up. Flinging my arms around his neck just to make me feel more secure, because I was pretty sure Jasper wouldn't drop me, I squeaked out, "What are you doing?" in an undignified manner. Yeah, that sounded dumb to my own ears. I couldn't imagine just how stupid Jasper thought I was right then.

Instead of laughing at me like I thought he would, he stated, "Taking you to bed. That's what you wanted." Jasper carried me all the way to the bedroom briefly scowling at the bit of wall I'd been up against when Seth was here. Shaking thoughts of him out of my head, he didn't need to be here. This was between Jasper and myself only.

Jasper plopped me down on the bed and stood in front of me, his eyes drinking me in. If I didn't feel wanted before, he laid to rest any doubts I had. Jasper took his shirt off and I paid more attention than I ever had before. My eyes roamed over every curve and indent of muscle he had. Placing my hands on his hips I leaned forward and licked each indent of his abdomen; the skin feeling soft and in contrast to the hard muscle. Jasper carded his fingers through my hair, but just rested his hands there.

Unbuttoning his pants I pushed them and his underwear down to lick and nip his hip, his dick rubbing against my cheek as I did so. Ignoring it for now I kissed down his thigh as I lowered his pants and boxer briefs. Jasper toed off his shoes and I pulled them off along with his socks. As he stepped out of them he kicked them away. That movement drew my attention back to his dick.

Placing my hands back on his hips I looked up at Jasper's face, full of lust, and kissed the base of his shaft. Kissing him from base to head on one side, I did the same on the other. Jasper moaned and his hands tightened in my hair, but he didn't do anything else. I wasn't too sure he wouldn't be like James here, and that kept me from taking him all the way in for the moment. Teasing his head with my tongue he breathed, "Fuck." Flicking the frenulum with my tongue first I took more of him in my mouth to suck in earnest. Flattening my tongue against his shaft I sucked back up and continued the same pattern for a while. Jasper moaned at the sensation and I was ecstatic that he wasn't trying to choke me. Using my own hands to move his hips I let him fuck my mouth, but I was in control. Taking him in as deep as I could I didn't gag once.

"Edward... you have... you have... to stop," Jasper stammered. Letting him go I placed another kiss on the head desperate to have him inside me.

Kneeling in front of me, between my legs, Jasper kissed me hard, tongues tangling together. Needing air we pulled apart and I kissed his face, memorizing how it felt. Jasper's fingers lightly caressed my back underneath my shirt before coming around to my stomach almost tickling me there. Tugging my shirt up I helped him get it off and threw it behind him. Jasper kissed my chest and I gasped when I felt his wet tongue lap at my nipple. It had been so long since anyone had touched me there. He licked and nibbled each one long enough that my hands gripped his upper arms, my blunt nails digging in.

Jasper trailed kisses down my stomach and pushed me down on the bed. When he got to my pants he stopped and pulled off my shoes and socks chucking them elsewhere. With a foot still in hand he kissed the bottom of that too and I had a hard time not jerking away. Not because I was grossed out, but because it felt good. Only Jasper could have made me okay with this. He sucked on each of my toes carefully watching my reaction. The only thing I could do is moan and writhe on the bed. Smiling to himself, he did the same with the other foot. Kill me now. Why the fuck does that feel so good?

Letting my feet fall back to the floor his hands traced my legs on their way up to the waist of my pants. He quickly unbuckled my belt and wasted no time in getting me naked before him. Exposed and vulnerable, I trembled with need and fear. What if he changed his mind? What if he didn't find me attractive anymore? Feeling the sting of a slap on my thigh I started. "Stop thinking, Edward. Your thoughts are so loud, it's like you're shouting them at me. Look at me," he commanded again today. Raising my eyes to his, he said, "You're beautiful. Never doubt that."

Shaking my head at him, I said, "I don't know about beautiful, but I know I look good. I also know you look so much better, you could do so much better." Avoiding the word gorgeous was difficult as that's what I wanted to say, but if he hated the word I wouldn't use it.

Jasper actually growled at me, I thought I was the only one that did that. "You're driving me crazy. What is it going to take for you to believe me?" he asked me rhetorically.

Getting on the bed with me, he pulled me up with him. Lying against me, his dick slid against mine. Whispering in my ear, Jasper asked, "Do you feel how hard you make me? How much I want you?" God, I was acting like a girl. I had to get a grip.

"Jasper..." I breathed. "Fuck me."

Kissing my neck first I felt him nod against it and he knelt between my legs. Opening the drawer beside us I pulled out lube and a condom, lying them beside us. Jasper picked up neither of them, instead taking one of my balls into his mouth, sucking on it, making me moan. Watching me, he licked and sucked his thumb and I wonder what the hell he was doing. It didn't take long to find out. His lips descended over my dick, tasting me, but his thumb trailed down my perineum to the crack of my ass. Circling the puckered skin there first he slowly inserted his thumb. He kept it there moving it gently as he took my dick down almost to the back of his throat. My hands gripped his hair and all thought flew out of my head.

When I started to try to fuck his thumb Jasper took it out and let my dick go. "Turn over," Jasper commanded. Turning onto my stomach I raised myself on my knees exposing myself to him. Lips kissed my back and hands caressed my ass, trying to get me to relax. He nipped the skin of my ass and pushed my ass cheeks apart. I felt his tongue glide over the outside of my hole before dipping in. I almost yelped in surprise, but managed to only let it come out as a moan. No one had ever even attempted to rim me. The rough wetness of his tongue there made me tremble at the new sensation.

"Jasper, please..." I begged.

Lying my head on my arms I could see Jasper pick up the condom and tear the wrapper open. Rolling it over his dick he picked up the lube and poured it into his hand, rubbing them together to warm it. His left hand slid along the condom coating it. The right hand slid it between the crack of my ass. A lubed finger pushed itself in rubbing the lube inside. Damn, that felt good, but I wanted more. His dick to be precise. "Fuck me," I growled out, finally becoming demanding. Slipping one more finger in me, he pumped them in and out and slapped my ass. "Jasper, if you don't fuck me soon, I will kill you," I warned.

Jasper chuckled at me, and commented, "So impatient." That's right, bitch, I am, now get on with it.

Hands on my hips, he slid his dick along the crack of my ass and pushed the head in. He was too damn slow, I was far beyond fucking ready, he was just doing this to torture me. Raising up on my hands I pushed myself against him taking him in all the way, feeling his balls against my ass. "Fuck..." Jasper breathed. That's right, now move, damn it.

Rocking myself against him, I fucked myself on him until he came back to me. "Edward, please stop," Jasper groaned. Turning my head to look at him, he had his eyes clenched shut and his jaw set, completely still. Unmoving I watched while he got himself under control. When he finally opened his eyes he began thrusting inside me hitting my prostate, making me cry out in pleasure.

Gripping my hair Jasper pulled my head back and I groaned. Leaning against my back he kissed my shoulder and neck and whispered, "Touch yourself." Doing as he said I licked my hand and pumped my dick, making a few light twists and brushing the head. Jasper pounded into me harder, one hand still gripping my hair while the other was on my hip.

We were both so close, I could feel both of our balls tightening. I came first at the dual sensation of my hand on my dick and him in my ass. "Fuck..." was the only word I could even think of at that point. My entire body shook with the force of the orgasm as I spasmed around his dick. It had been so long since I'd been fucked well that I felt tears in my eyes. Blinking them back I felt Jasper release himself into the condom, able to feel the warmth even through it.

Boneless I sank down on the bed when he pulled out. I didn't care that my stomach had cum on it, or that I was lying in it against my sheets. Jasper threw away the condom in the trashcan beside the bed. Coming back to me, his hand stroked my back. We laid there together, our breath calming, our sweat drying.

Turning my head to look at him I gave him a lazy, worn out smile. We both laid there for a long time just gazing at each other. Jasper's hand cupped my face and his thumb traced my cheek. Taking a deep breath, he looked pensive and I wondered what was wrong. "I love you," he stated quietly and gave me a worried look. I gasped, eyes wide. He loved me?

Instead of over thinking or doing or saying anything stupid this time, I replied simply, "I love you, too." Jasper gave me a smile as the worry lifted from his face and the light came back to his eyes, burning bright.

Brushing my lips against his, I murmured, "Let's go take a shower." We cleaned the cum, and the sweat, and the lube from our bodies, and memorized each other the whole time. Climbing back into bed, naked, Jasper wrapped an arm around my waist pulling me to him. That was the best and most comfortable night's sleep I'd had in a very long time.


	12. Epilogue

**The Cellar Door: Epilogue**

**AN:**_ Thank you Dilmn8 for pre-reading this story. I know you thought it would be something small and so did I. However, nothing for Jen should be rushed. :) __I know some of you are sad this one is done, but you got much more out of it than I ever intended in the first place._**  
**

_Characters belong to SM_

**EPOV**

A few months later and Jasper and I were still together. We never got to spend as much time together as we wanted, as he was still currently in school. It seemed he went year round. He also worked so many nights he barely had time to sleep at all, I was worried he was going to run himself into the ground. Maria teased me about that as she said I did the same thing.

On one of our rare occasions to be together we met at The Cellar Door. It was close to him and now held better memories for us, and the drinks were cheap. We even got to know a few regulars there pretty well.

Taking a swig of my beer I waited on Jasper until I felt someone come up behind me. Full lips brushed against my neck and instinctively I moaned, knowing it was Jasper. Twisting my head around I kissed his lips sucking the bottom one into mine, pressing my tongue against it at the same time. Groaning at me, he pulled away and ran his hand along my back to my ass. Fuck, we needed to leave soon.

Jasper's quick withdrawal of his hand and his stiffening before he distanced himself from me, alerted me that something wasn't right. Before I could even see what it was I heard a voice I honestly hadn't expected to hear again. "Jasper," James drawled.

Spinning on the bar stool I glanced at James, the last time I'd seen him, he was fucked up. Today he looked, well, he looked happy. Happier than I'd ever seen him, in fact. "James," Jasper stated his name coldly.

"So you two are together for real now, then?" James asked, looking to either of us to answer.

Jasper replied, "It's none of your damn business."

At the same time I answered, "Yes, we are." Taking Jasper's hand in mine, I wanted to show him that he had nothing to worry about. Why the fuck would I leave him for James? I'd been down that road, and Jasper was so much better than anyone I'd ever been with before. Jasper gave me a slightly angry look tinged with worry. Standing up I stood close to Jasper and dared him to move away from me again.

James let out a deep sigh, "Jasper, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done all those things to you."

Jasper barked out a laugh, and said, "Apology not accepted. You hurt me more than anyone ever could have. Go back to Peter, you ass."

James dipped his head in disappointment. I wondered if his apology was sincere or another of his games. I'd be on my guard until I knew for sure. "Peter left me. He's with some woman called Charlotte," he divulged.

Confused, I popped out, "I thought Peter was gay."

Jasper shook his head, still looking at James and not me as he said, "No, Peter is bi." Hmm... if I had been able to be with a woman I might have gone there too after James. He was the biggest asshole I'd ever been with.

"Please Jasper, please don't cut me out of your life anymore," James pleaded. "I miss you." Then his eyes darted to me and he said, "I won't even interfere with your relationships anymore." So had he taken my advice and found one of his own?

Jasper seemed to be crumbling, I could tell he wanted his brother back, but he didn't trust him. I wished he could have James back, but I didn't want him getting hurt again either. Leaning into him, I whispered, "It's up to you. I'll stand by you whether or not you take him back." I was almost afraid that I'd be the reason he wouldn't take him back and I didn't want that on my conscious.

Someone came up behind James and slapped his ass. This new guy looked happy as he leaned forward to shake Jasper's hand. "You're James' twin brother, Jasper, right?" Jasper nodded in assent and the guy looked at me as well. "Ah, so you must be the ex, Edward, then."

"Yes, and you are?" I asked and shook his hand, as the two brothers seemed to be glaring at each other.

"Well, my name is Alec, isn't it? I heard all about the both of you and what James did to make you leave," he answered honestly. Did James tell him everything? Why the hell would he be with him if he had?

"Come on, love. You did what you needed to do, let Jasper make up his mind if he wants you in his life again or not," Alec told James, steering him away. It seemed to me that Alec was the dominant one there. Maybe that's what James needed.

"What do you think?" I asked Jasper.

"I think I like Alec, I'm not so sure about my own god damn brother," he replied angrily.

"Just think about it, don't rush any decision," I told him. Wanting to leave and get Jasper away from the environment as I could feel his anger radiating to me, I said, "Let's get out of here."

"Your place or mine?" he asked, a question that was asked so many times.

Pulling the key out of my pants pocket, I said, "What about our place?"

Jasper's eyes widened and he gasped. "Are you saying what I think you are?" He had to ask to make sure, he knew my aversion to moving in together. After him working so much and never seeing him though I couldn't take it anymore. I never wanted him to leave.

"I am. Will you move in with me, Jasper?" I asked and was nearly knocked over by the force he hugged and kissed me.

"Yes, of course I will," he answered taking the key from my hand and placing it on his key ring. "Let's go home."

As we were walking out of the bar I saw James and Alec in the corner watching us with grins on their faces, both of them holding each other close. Perhaps everything would work out with James in the end. Perhaps not. Whichever way it went I'd be there for Jasper, I wouldn't leave him.

**AN:** _Thanks for reading this, I hope you enjoyed taking the ride with me.  
_


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